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January 2005
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ED! ED! ED! Yes, finally to the emergency department. The frontline. Where all the action is!

2 days in the P2 area. I did loads of parameters (its hourly, by the time you finish one round of patients you'll realise eh, time for next para already..) and ECGs. The nurses keep telling us to ask questions (we are a quiet bunch), to find out more what we want to learn. But alas, we were all too caught up with bedside care. Gee. I wanted to learn more, wanted to ask questions but they don't seem to come out. Oh well.....

P1 on friday. Active resuscitation on the way? Hmm. If there is, fabulous. Time to observe and perhaps practice the real stuff. I feel so envious of those who left ED with many first, unforgettable experiences. Hopefully, by friday, I'll leave ED with my objectives fulfilled (whatever they are).

Paramedic seems like a fun job. Shall i consider the SCDF?? Hmmmm.....

Results to be released on Friday. DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I was strong, or at least I pretended to be
I thought I could hang on, no matter how tough it'll be
I thought I could have my mask on, at least till I get home
But alas, dear momma burst my bubble and suddenly, i felt so vulnerable.

No, i'm not upset.
O-kay, maybe a little. But I made a promise to someone that I wouldn't talk to her about it, so I won't. And, I guess it must have been difficult for her as well.

I wanted to keep mum about it because I believed that I could overcome it. I somehow believed that the wheels will start to turn soon, and I'll see the light again.

I didn't dare to ask anyone, not even those dear to me. That feeling. I just cannot get past it. Imagine your body being submerged in a cauldron of boiling water, as the heat slowly penetrates through your skin, your flesh. You just feel so 'raw' and there's nothing left to cover yourself. And f'course, you'll feel the pain.

But anyway, I appreciate your concern. =) I really do. That lil' gesture did a whole lot. I'm feeling so much better now. Thank you.

There are many others out there who are worst off, but they still made it. So, I know I will too. I will not despair. I will press on. For, I'm blessed with wonderful people around me and I know that He loves me. =)

I am appalled. Shocked beyond words.

A nasogastric tube is a tube that is passed through the nose and down through the nasopharynx and esophagus into the stomach. It is used to decompress the stomach, for feeding purposes and for administration of medications. A suction catheter, on the other hand is a long, narrow flexible tube used to remove secretions from the oropharynx and trachea. They are 2 (totally) different tubes for different purposes. As far as i'm concerned, they are not interchangeable!

A fully certified enrolled nurse with 4 years of experience in paediatric ward. My, my. How could you ever forget how an NG tube looks like? O-kay, maybe that is still pardonable. But using a suction catheter for feeding purposes?? How in the friggin' world will you secure the catheter, with the tip of the catheter at the nostrils? You even have the cheek to admit that you have performed this several times. The reasons you gave to justify your actions were ridiculous. Ey, which institution are you from? I doubt ITE teaches their students that.

I worry for the patient's under her care. I understand that there is no fast and hard rule in nursing. Different people have their own way of performing procedures. To save time, nurses resort to 'short-cut' methods. Personally for me, short cuts are acceptable as long as they DO NOT compromise the safety of the patients. After all, we do not have the luxury of time. But the above mentioned, to me is simply horrible. I do not think that her actions were justifiable.

Does it mean then, the next time she wants to perform CISC she could use an NG tube? It is after all similar to the tube normally used for CISC, but only longer. -Gasp-

If one day I feel i'm no longer interested in nursing or if feel that i can no longer provide safe nursing care, I'll quit. It beats harming others and leaving in shame.

What would you do if you see a fallen branch?

Would you kick it away or would you pretend it's non-existent and walk on? Or would you stop to pick it up and try to see which tree this branch came from? Perhaps even try to re-attach the fallen branch back to its tree? Or would you pick it up and then break it?

Would you feel sad for the branch? Would you wonder why the branch was lying on the ground? Would you wonder if the tree experienced any pain, now that one of its branches is gone? Would you wonder if that branch too, experienced pain? Would you?

i guess maybe, not.

Byebye exams(insyallah). Hello attachment.

2 weeks with the old & wrinkled, a week with the acutely ill and another week in the OT.

Almost a week had passed (with the geri) and boy, am i exhausted! Cher wrote that she had to send uncles and aunties to the loo almost every other minute. Guess what cher, me too!! =) I've just joined your club. It doesn't help that my cubicle and the dirty utility are at opposite ends. It sucks even more that now my shoes are a lil' tad too tight and i have no time (and lazy) whatsoever to buy them. I'd be limping across the ward by the time its time to sign out. Nyehhnyehh. And as usual, there are patients who love to drain/suck your energy. Every ounce that is left in you. To the extent, you'd be too tired to even go home and wished you could bunk in the ward. Difficult people, i can still tahan. But impatient people? Wahlaueyy!! Slappppslapppslappp them! God only gave me a pair of hands, and unfortunately also, I can be quite clumsy. So, waitttt lar!! One more time and i swear i'll........................... lock you up in the toilet. You can micturate and defecate twenty-four/seven. =D

phew. im finally done ranting. so many pent-up emotions. I tried to write them down in a book (ala diary) but oh well, i used the book to write notes instead.

im hungry and my feet needs reflexology. o-kay, i go find food now.