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January 2005
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3 days off. 24h + 24h + 24h = 72h (i think this should b rite... can't blame me tho. i'm really BAD in all this countin shitt... hahaaha) Finally, 3 days without seeing that cina-faced woman( i have a feeling she used to be a Mr. dun ask me why) with a thick aussie accent. you know who you are... yesh you.... the one tt's making my life hell!! I mean, I understand your intentions. You want us to be good nurses.... caring, tactful, sensitive and everything.... but do you know, how STRESSFUL it is for us? You're always there...never seem to leave. You're not guiding, you're pestering.... just like (i'm sorry to say this ) a pest. You make feel so stressed that I fumble whenever you're near me. And then you keep saying all these demoralizing things like: her: Are you really interested in nursing? So, you want to be low-grade nurses or nurses that we wanna put off the register? If you can't even do basic stuff, how can we trust you things like IV and medication? (dengan muker muker skali) And all the OBVIOUS hints that you've dropped... implying that i'm going to fail my posting. Its so difficult to apply the exact methods she want and yet at the same time comply with the hospital's routine. I wanna be good nurse... and yes dammit. I am interested in nursing. i admit that my skills are rusty... i am trying. can't you see???? You really make me want to cry... You make me dread attachment. i'm sooo stressed. My mom's asking me to do this e-mailing stuff... regarding my bro's application for the stoopid visa. She can't wait man.. so the tak sabar.. Geramnyer.. Thk god she's outta room. Or my brain's going to burst this very next minute. yeah, then get warded to my ward. neuro-surgical ward wad.... how apt. I finally realised how tough nursing can be... its not as easy as i thought it would be. i was sooo naive. Now i finally understand when they say nursing really needs a lot of PASSION, DETERMINATION & PESERVERENCE. W/o these three, one would definitely quit. i'm still hanging in there. If i pull through (insyaallah) and graduate as a registered nurse, it will be the most meaningful thing ever man, coz it wasn't easy. It was indeed a tumultous (correct spelling?) journey.