Designer: Sillyclock
Image Hosted by: Photobucket
Brushes:+ + + +

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
January 2006
April 2006
May 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007

3 days off. 24h + 24h + 24h = 72h (i think this should b rite... can't blame me tho. i'm really BAD in all this countin shitt... hahaaha) Finally, 3 days without seeing that cina-faced woman( i have a feeling she used to be a Mr. dun ask me why) with a thick aussie accent. you know who you are... yesh you.... the one tt's making my life hell!! I mean, I understand your intentions. You want us to be good nurses.... caring, tactful, sensitive and everything.... but do you know, how STRESSFUL it is for us? You're always there...never seem to leave. You're not guiding, you're pestering.... just like (i'm sorry to say this ) a pest. You make feel so stressed that I fumble whenever you're near me. And then you keep saying all these demoralizing things like: her: Are you really interested in nursing? So, you want to be low-grade nurses or nurses that we wanna put off the register? If you can't even do basic stuff, how can we trust you things like IV and medication? (dengan muker muker skali) And all the OBVIOUS hints that you've dropped... implying that i'm going to fail my posting. Its so difficult to apply the exact methods she want and yet at the same time comply with the hospital's routine. I wanna be good nurse... and yes dammit. I am interested in nursing. i admit that my skills are rusty... i am trying. can't you see???? You really make me want to cry... You make me dread attachment. i'm sooo stressed. My mom's asking me to do this e-mailing stuff... regarding my bro's application for the stoopid visa. She can't wait man.. so the tak sabar.. Geramnyer.. Thk god she's outta room. Or my brain's going to burst this very next minute. yeah, then get warded to my ward. neuro-surgical ward wad.... how apt. I finally realised how tough nursing can be... its not as easy as i thought it would be. i was sooo naive. Now i finally understand when they say nursing really needs a lot of PASSION, DETERMINATION & PESERVERENCE. W/o these three, one would definitely quit. i'm still hanging in there. If i pull through (insyaallah) and graduate as a registered nurse, it will be the most meaningful thing ever man, coz it wasn't easy. It was indeed a tumultous (correct spelling?) journey.

i'm sooo exhausted.. just reached home like an hour ago and my eyes are half opened. I'm hungry but i'm too tired or should I say lazy to go and grab sumthin to eat.. Haiz...moonie2. Finally, one week of attachment gone. 6 more weeks to go.. K, I take back my words. the people in my ward aren't tt bad at all... i guess i just haven't gotten to know them, tt's all. The ITE students were really nice and friendly. ppl like sharmilah, lynn, shikin, peggy, radhika and the rest... thks for making my attachment a better one... really appreciate it. =) But seriously, attachment really drains all your energy... My legs are aching from all tt standing and alas, i can have 2 days break.. S***! now tt reminds me... i have a case study to submit on monday and i've done nothing about it. I didn't manage to look at the case notes.. was too busy with the parameters and stuff... oh man... i'm soo dead.. Aaaaargh!!! it was fa's birthday yesterday... So, happy belated b'dae gal...felt bad that i didn't get her anythin... How to? both of us are busy with attachment... One in NUH and the other in SGH... i guess i'll just make up for it BIG time when sch reopens... Sori Fa... = ( ok... my vision's blurring now... i'm seeing double... tt shows how sleepy i am... -Yawn- gotta sleep now before i look like a panda tmr... -Yawn-

Its the first day of my attachment. Surgical ward. Indeed very different from medical ward. Some of the nurses there were friendly but some were..err.. expressionless. Couldn't be bothered with our presence. The third year students were not friendly at all!! so stuck-up. can't they just smile... haiz...or is it because its our first day. I really don't know.. i guess i'll find that out soon enough... The ITE students made feel really intimidated. They have this gung-ho attitude and some of them were really competent. Kudos to them. i guess i need to learn from them. But the worst thing has yet to come... I can't believe that PPG was in my ward... OMG!!! She's one DAMN harworking girl but she just can't communicate with the rest of the team. Ask her one question and she'll reply with an irrelevant answer... Nothin to do with the question at all... She really needs to work on her communication skills. i guess i have to sleep early tonight because i have to rise really early tomorrow... what to do? start at 7... aaargghhh.. have to start studying again... my skills ARE really rusty. Good luck to me tmr.... hopefully, i'll make it thru...

yep, i'm finally done with my exams. gone are the days of mugging.. At last. i'm gonna start my attachment next week...Yippy!! i can't wait. I've gotta read up on my skills because i think they're a bit rusty now.. hehe.. Hopefully, i'm competent enough in performing my skills. So, patients of ward 41 and 53, here i come... have trust in me... i can do it.. jia you moonie....
erm..i'm going to trim my hair tomorrow. i really needed a hair trim. stat. my hair's like the penyapu lidi that the sweepers use.... really... feel like cutting it short but i look horribly disgusting in a bob so, i better not risk it. I don't want the patients to die from cardiac arrest the moment they see me. Mind you, they are already immunocompromised... my horrendous hairstyle will just make it worse... hahaha. Aniway, fa just did this, i think its called a photoblog,..... very nice.. called kaptured..this girl is just very creative and she soo html-savvy unlike me a computer illiterate... i only know how to use the basic functions of the computer... its all german to me... i understand zilch...
i'm really tired...i guess i'm gonna sleep... peaceful sleep.. stress no more... life's soo good. to those going for the attachment, good luck..
to fa, salam takziah for having to work with DH. hehehe but, don't you worry... it may turn out well after all...

2 papers gone.... 2 more to go.. time seems to fly so slowly... 36 hours more to freedom..a time when i can finally rest my head, mind, body...hmm..practically everything. Dunno why but my problems never seems to end... they just seem to cling on to me...refusing to let go.... I keep asking myself... when is this going to end? when can i really find peace? urggh... irrrritating... damn exams just makes it worse.
But i noe...i'm not the only one with problems... others are having it worst than me... some might be mourning for the loss of their loved ones... what's that compared to my problems.. I should be thankful to Almighty for what i have now. Sempurna, alhamdullilah. Life is really unpredictable/fragile. one moment you're talking a person and the next moment, she/he might have left.. for good. forever. Sad but that's what life's all about. that's why we've been taught from young never to take things for granted..... unfortunately, even after years of drilling that into our minds, those words just don't seem to stay . we still do take things for granted. I noe i did. Just like what happened to Baba, my late deaaaarrrest grandma. When she was still alive, i loved to quarrel with her, found her a pain. She was always asking me to do this and that. Just can't leave me alone. The last time i saw her was before she entered CCU after a cardiac bypass. I wasn't even there when she passed on. How unfilial i am... i really regretted it. But, my dearest moonie, it's all useless now. All i pray for rite now is that Allah mencucuri rohnya dan merahmatinya. Amin. If only she was still here, if only....