the klutzy world

2007-10-30T16:35:00.000+08:00

I have moved!!

http://ubersepet.wordpress.com

2007-10-20T18:29:00.000+08:00

And so, I turned twenty (couple of days ago). =)

I celebrated with the flu bug, complete with the runny nose (literally dripping) and sore throat. What a birthday bash. It sucks even more spending it at work in a shift where none of my kakis are on. One word. Pathetic (note the capital P).
Sheesh.

Oh well, one more birthday has come and gone. I have grown a year older. Thanks to Him, I'm still breathing and living healthily in this world. Alhamdulilah. He gave me the chance to experience 20 years worth of sunrise and sunsets, and I pray He'll give me many more years to enjoy it. =)

And, I thank all for those greetings (thank god for mobile phones!). =) It made one sick birthday girl smile, just knowing that you guys remembered! =) Haha.

Syawal is here. =) Relish it. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir Batin.

2007-09-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

And so I've finished reading Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. finally. =)

The protagonist didn't die, much to my dismay. Perhaps watching too much korean dramas have made me a melodramatic queen. =) And, and, Ron and Hermione got together (read: married!) in the end. So much for platonic relationship between the opposite sexes. Hahahaa.

And, work has been busy as hell. It is the 'intubated' season. Extubating one patient simply equates to admitting one more intubated patient. Bleargh. Maybe September is the time for hearts to fail ey?

When the ward gets busy, the stress level doubles, triples and quadruples. And with stress, the ugly side of one's personality arises. Ergh. I'm so going to put a tube down the registrar's throat i tell you. Nabeh. -rolls eyes-

"i'm not here, i'm not here, i'm not here"

I'm not visually handicapped, and neither are you wearing Harry's invisibility cloak. "Sorry, i'm busy at this moment" would be a better alternative, don't you think?

__________________________________________________________________________

I want a dozen donuts from donut factory.

On a more pleasant side, Ramadhan is arriving. So, I shall try to curb my anger and keep my emotions in check. It's time to erase those dosa, not start piling them yeah...

I try not to think of it, but the more i try, the more it lingers. Someone, save me.

2007-08-31T23:38:00.001+08:00

It happens all the time, at every stage of my life......

I take a step back, I try to analyze. And I still don't know why.

Can anyone tell me why?

Then again, I can't be bothered to find out why. I just want a change, for once.

Maybe its the evil aura hanging all around me. Hmmm......

2007-08-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

Something that nurses are not supposed to commit, I did.

Medication error.

Patient's safety first. I heard that so often, so often I thought I had it ingrained my brain. Aah, the word 'I thought". Never 'thought' my friends, make sure u see, u check, check and check.

I feel like slicing myself. Shit. There goes my appraisal. There goes everything. One stain in my career.

I must thank Him though that the event didn't affect the patient in any way. Should anything untoward had happened to the patient, I would carry the guilt for the rest of my life.

Hands that heal, can kill...

Then again, what's done cannot be undone. I will learn from the mistake. I vow to be a safe nurse.

I'm sorry I compromised your safety. I truly am.

2007-08-27T17:55:00.000+08:00

Life is just but a full circle. It takes you all around, misleading you into thinking that you've gone somewhere, only to make you realise later that you are back where you started. And just when you think you could see the end, you realise that it is nothing more than an optical illusion.

Life is harsh.

When there's life, there's hope. But then again, when there's hope, there's disppointment.

If life was tangible, I would give it a good thrashing.

If life was human, it'd probably the most conniving, manipulating soul ever.

2007-08-12T17:07:00.000+08:00

Its been a month since I took on the role of a registered nurse and officially entered the workforce. It has been a fulfilling month so far, and hopefully there'll be more months (and years) of those to come. =)

Work life has been hectic and the ultimate aim of the day is to complete my (tonnes of 'em)checklists. 5 more months to the end of probation so, hang in there, moo! I shall start planning how I should celebrate, upon receiving confirmation. A trip to good old Tokyo perhaps? Hehehe. I so can't waitt. =)

i've seen enough to believe in karma, so i tell myself to be nice. Give others a chance. but sometimes, it's just so difficult to suppress the inner bitch in me. Susah tau... -pulls hair in distress- I can only pray that comes judgement day, He forgives me. Haiz...

2007-07-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say.

I doubt it. It should be, absence makes the heart drift further, and further. It applies to every relationship (not just romantic ones). Don't you agree? I just cannot fathom how the heart grows fonder, when you do not meet the other party most of the time. Sure, you will be missed. Some will be longed for. But somehow, somewhat (however little), I feel that things do change. The functional distance is just too great. It's just not the same, ya'know.

And losing someone close just because both parties have drifted apart is really sad. Heck, you didn't even quarrel. At times, I do secretly wish that I could keep my family/friends close to me and try to hold on to the closeness that we shared. But, reality is always the antagonist. It's impossible to have all your contacts in your sight all the time. I'd be a psychotic stalker, if I could do that. Heh.

This is life, I guess. Some people are just not meant to stay, no matter how deep an impression they might have left us. Some people are just meant to lead diverging lives.

2007-07-02T22:01:00.001+08:00

First day of orientation can be best described in one word. Tiring. Endless talks (welcome, welcome and more welcome). Oh, I'm so overwhelmed by their hospitality. And tomorrow, I'd probably have to sit through something similar, yet again. Sheesh.

I'm not a student nurse already? Oh my gossshhhhh....

Graduation (like finally!) is coming in a couple of days time and I soo can't wait. Its been ages since I last met up with some of the peeps and i'm eager to catch up with their happenings. =) One last reunion (the next will prob be in ten years time, i bet) before everyone carry on with their designated paths. See you there people. =)

Say a prayer for me aiights? That I don't trip and fall while collecting the diploma, embarassing myself in front of practically everyone in that huge auditorium. Thank you. =)

2007-05-30T20:12:00.000+08:00

And I'm denied entry into NUS. Dang! Disappointed? Definitely. But oh well, life goes on. One closed door means the opening of another isn't it? There might be plenty of reasons why I didn't get in but i'm placing my bets on the interview. I suck at interviews lar. Perhaps I said the wrong things, or maybe they just didn't like my face. Heh.

ouch. rejection hurts.

The outcome has been announced and I can't change it. But its okay, I will accept it. I always believe that He has it all planned for me. Maybe He has something better yet in store for me in the near future. Who knows? Hehe. At the very least, I ended NYP on a high note. With that, I'm satisfied. For now. =)

On the happier side, I received my pay today! =) Yeayy. Whooppeee. Great Singapore Sale somemore you. Shopping, shopping and more shoppingg!!! And, and, and, and....... I'm a full fledged state registered nurse as of today! Jeng, Jeng, Jeng.....

Whoopee Whooppe yeayy!! -somersaults in joy-. =) I literally slogged for this y'know. And I paid a hundred bucks for it (these gah-mens just know how to squeeze money out of us. Neneh!)

Okok, NUH here I come. Embrace your new staff =) Lucky I have something to fall back on. Hehe. =D

2007-05-10T22:47:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling emo today, pardon me.
I went back to the school campus in the afternoon to return some (overdue) library books. Everything in the campus seemed so distant. The corridors felt empty even though there were tonnes of students rushing in and out. I felt empty walking there. Seeing those photos on that co-curricular activity board made me teary.

Persahabatan yang dibina akhirnya terlerai jua

2007-05-05T18:13:00.000+08:00

I have successfully completed my pre-consolidation placement. =) Happy is an understatement. Whee.

Like a flash, three years have gone by. It's finally time to bid farewell and the heart is aching. =( It sucks to let go but everyone has to, at some point in their lives. Everyone has their own lives to lead, their own dreams to materialize and their own paths to take. All I could offer is a prayer, wishing that they will succeed in their future endeavours. Insyaallah.

At least, I have the memories. Something that I can keep as I continue to lead my desired path. Something that no one else can take away from me, unless of course He decides that I should suffer from amnesia.

NR0416, a class of its own. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for giving the opportunity to build friendships, to make mistakes and grow from it. It may not have been a smooth ride but I thoroughly enjoyed it. And, let's just forgive and forget. I don't want it to end on a sour note.

Separation marks the start of a new beginning.

2007-04-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

Soar up high in the sky my friend,
Just don't crash and burn

2007-04-21T17:01:00.000+08:00

I've been up to some out the moonie-ordinary lately. But no worries, the gear have shifted back to its original position. Fate has decreed. My face dah chop 'nurse'. Heh. It was a refreshing experience though, and for a moment there, I wondered if I was in the Singapore Idol queue.

4 weeks have elapsed since my first day of PRCP. Initally, it was overwhelming. But now, i've settled in and bonded with the staff there. =) My confidence is slowly building and I no longer hesitate to tamper with the tubes and whatknots. I jump at every opportunity to perform an invasive procedure. Hehehe. have less than fourteen days left and hopefully, everything will end well. I wish to see a complete NR0416 on graduation day, so you all better pass! =D

I finally met up with my makcik in crime. Oh, I miss her and the others. We had so much to tell one another but then when we see each other, we forget what to say, Aiyo! Kalah, mata air you. She became my 15 minute tour guide of SGH, and i had the opportunity to peek into the ward she was posted to. =) I like SGH wards post-renovation. Very airy and cosy. =) Anway, happy 20th girlie! Belated birthday treat and prezzie coming alrite, I promise!

I'm going for the NUS interview on May 4th. Ooh, I want this degree so bad. Pray for me =)

2007-04-15T15:15:00.000+08:00

I thought I could not make it back home today. Haaha.

I thought it was going to be just another cab ride home. Boy, was I wrong.

The cab swerved to the left and to the right because the driver was gradually losing consciousness. Btw, I was oblivious to the whole swerving thing (how dumb!) and I couldn't see that the driver was gradually losing consciousness as i was sitting directly behind him. Thank heavens my mum was alert.

She wanted to cab to stop because it was dangerous but the driver insisted he was okay (at expressway somemore). When we probed further, he told us that he had just recovered from a stroke and had just taken his anti-hypertensive medication. But still, he insisted he was fine. I just wanted to leave the cab, I tell you. Even though he claimed he was fine, we could see that his left side was weaker now as he seems to be having difficulty manipulating the gear and he kept supporting his left cheek .

I've never clasped the safety belt so tightly before. Takot mati sey! Haaha. It's not that lar. Aiyo, when you've posted to EMD, this is what happens. Your imagination just runs wild. :P

Maybe he had a transient ischemic attack? Sheesh. I do hope he rests for now and don't take anymore passengers. He will be endangering both his passengers and his lives.

2007-04-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

How was attachment, you may ask?

Hmm.... The whole of last week was spent on orientation and information loading. And this week, first 2 days were spent buddying with the preceptor and I've only started to take a simple case today. Wow, so much time wasted (for the lack of a better word). I feel as if i'm trailing far behind, as compared to those attached to the wards.

So much for requesting to be posted in a specialised unit.

I'm beginning to doubt my ability. Or maybe I'm just not prepared (enough)? A simple case of PCI and I couldn't understand the whole case in depth. Add a little bit of complication and im out of sorts already.

Stress level is building

And i've never been good in arithmetic. Drug calculation can be quite an uphill task. To make it worse, the preceptor just went on babbling like, oh you take 18 mg, something, something then, final 30mls of normal saline. So, its 1ml = 10mg. Yeah right, as if i get you. I didn't dare to probe further because that preceptor, oh well, she has her mood swings. Got to clarify again soon.

Dopamine, Dobutrex, Nor-adrenaline, mcg/kg/min, alarms, pvc, sinus tachy, asystole

I had a collapse case yesterday. It was a first for me, to observe an active resuscitation. The atmosphere is different from that in the EMD. To see the heart rate drop from the hundreds to the tens. To see how the MO and NOs tried to access all the possible lines from every part of the body. To see the ECG showing rythms (PEA) but no pulse can be felt. To see the nurse jump on the bed and start her chest compressions. To participate in dilution of adrenaline. To see the whole team coordinating their efforts to ensure smooth progress of the resuscitation.

It was an eye-opener. I missed the opportunity to perform the chest compression because I hesitated. Overwhelmed by fear and lack of confidence. A pity, I know. Oh well.........

The patient passed away after almost an hour (i think) of resuscitation. Inallilah.

Being in this specialised unit allowed to me see the fragility of life. You could be talking/eating one moment but they next, you could be lying flat on the bed, life hanging by the thread.

I need to be more vigilant. I need to learn to prioritize. I need to pass my PRCP.

2007-04-01T19:03:00.000+08:00

I wish you were here
for you would guide me through,

I wish you were here
for you would enlighten me, help me understand the complexity of life,

I wish you were here
for you would blow the mist away so I could find my way,

I wish you were here
for you would remove the tainted spots,

I wish you were here
for you have the warmth I need,

I wish you were here
for you would make this journey a more meaningful one

I wish you were here

I wish you were real

2007-03-23T17:08:00.000+08:00

Its amazing how one can be a parent and not know their child's full name.

Me: What is child's full name?

Parent: Maggie Teo.

Me: I mean full name. Like Maggie Teo Li Ling or sumthing.

And the so-called parent is stumped. Is it so difficult to remember their chinese name? I understand that some people do not have chinese name but in the above mentioned, that girl obviously has one. (he had to call back up to ask what the name was). Aiyo.

It's appaling to know that a parent could not remember the child's birthdate (when i say child, im thinking of ages between 2-6, mind you). If you're eighty and you forget, I could still forgive you lar. But, if your child was born several years ago, i mean how could your ACTUALLY forget? Maybe childbirth was akin to defecating. Maybe that's why they forgot. Terrible.

Oh yeah, one more thing. When your child is sick, puhleese remember their birth certificate numbers. If not, bring that damn cert along! I had to deal with these so frequently that I'm quite frustrated.

Can't remember full name, can't remember birthday, can't remember b/c no. So, you tell me what I should do? Neneh betul. Lucky their essential parts are firmly attached, otherwise, only He knows. Pui!

On a happier note, I enjoyed working at the clinic (minus those muddle-headed parents). =)
And my, my these blardy doctors sure earn A LOT.

2007-03-21T12:41:00.000+08:00

Maamamaa moo!! The E to the X to the A to the M to the S are finally over. -somersaults in joy-

And, the dreaded paper is not so dreadful after all. =D Yippee.

A huge load off my back (for now). I need to catch up on all those lost sleep. I can chill on the sofa for hours now without looking at the clock ever-so-frequently, just to make sure I don't over-rest. I can join the family again. I have been at home for the past week, but yet I'm not home. Bayang pun tak nampak. We're separated by that solid, wooden door.

You know, exams are very possessive. They detach you away from your families and friends. They have control over every inch of you and every minute you have, you'd be thinking about them. Damn stifling. It'd be scary if exams were human. -shudders-

Anyway, like I said, I can finally spend some quality time with the loved ones. I've realised that I've spent way too much time on other stuffs. Its time to give that attention back to those whom I hold dear. =)

6 weeks of clinical coming right up and let's cross the fingers, hoping it'll be an uneventful one. I'm not taking fail for an answer so you ( i-dont-know-who-you-are preceptor), better pass me. I'm not threatening, I'm just asking... Heh.

NUH, embrace me. HERE I COME!!

2007-03-20T20:21:00.000+08:00

It is THE night before the dreaded paper.

I've done this before and I know I could do it. Yes, I can. Have faith, moo. Insyallah.

Wish me luck.

2007-03-17T18:56:00.000+08:00

What does it feel to really, really like someone? Oh, I'm heterosexual btw. I shall not even try to use the word love because the notion of love itself is just far too complex. I can't fully fathom what like is, so how to understand what love is?

I've had tonnes (perhaps even zillions) of crushes. Oh well, blame it on my raging hormones. I'm a growing girl, hokay. =) I've never had the opportunity to really, truly like someone. So, i wonder. A lot. What it feels like when you've been bitten by the bug. Does it make you lose your inhibitions, or perhaps even your whole self? Because, I know some people do. And that's quite sad isn't it? But then again, i've seen people remain the way they are or even changed for the better. Hmm. Aiyah, must take into account individual differences i guess. But, but i'm still curious. Heh. If only like is tangible. Its easier to understand and measure what like is if it has physical dimensions. Then, maybe then, I could understand why people change because of it.

Hmm, if only i could understand why sepet eyes are so irresistable. Hah!

Every girl dreams of her knight in shining armour. Cheesy? Yeah, i know. Very. But it's true isn't it? At some point in time of their lives, girls do fantasize about these things. I know i do. Heh. But all that i remember of my knight is, he's taller (than me f'course) and has SEPET eyes. =D Ok lar, if you're a girl and you don't, then you're a freak. =P

I like those dreams (or any dreams actually). Because dreams are soo, perfect. The utimate utopia. =) A place where only happiness and sunshine reign. Some may disagree because nothing in this world is perfect and perfect is boring. What would happiness mean if there was no sadness to balance it? What would goodness means if there was no evil to balance it?

Oh well, i guess imperfection has ruled the world for too long. It would be great to have a change, even if its only for a day or perhaps just only in my dreams.

I don't really know where this entry is going. I'm just letting my fingers do all the work while brain gets its hour long rest.

I miss the old days. I memorized the conflict management notes like crazy but I've never applied it. What a dung.

2007-03-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

I was supposed (yeah, supposed to) to be studying when suddenly, jil dropped the BOMB!

jil: MOO!!! u're in CCU!!!!

Oh my freaking goodness. Aaaaargh. I'm speechless. I'm shocked. I'll be spending six weeks of clinical in an intensive care unit! So much for saying they will not be sending students to ICU because they are a hindrance. Pui!

Oh my godddyyyness. Will I pass the prcp? Can i pass? And the saddest thing is I will not be spending those precious six weeks with my friend(s)-whom-i've-never-been-to-attachment-without. =( I don't care. At the very least, we must go break together hor... =(

Forget bout this for now, moo. Back to the books!!!!!!!

2007-03-13T18:44:00.000+08:00

Hiatus? My *&(^^%%$#$%!

i'm freakinn stressed. i am (probably already have) expending almost all of my energy trying to study behavior modification.

somebody help me. =(

2007-03-09T00:05:00.000+08:00

"If I am a teacher" (journal entry dated 18.01.2007)

If I am a teacher, my greatest wish would be all the children in my school would be good students. I also want them to be smart and have a good education. But when I grow up, I do not want to be a teacher. Instead, I want to be a principal. A principal will get good pay just because they sit in the office, answer calls and giving the speech. I mean, how hard could that be? Unlike a teacher, he/she will have to be quite strict because students are not quite obedient these days. Anyway, enough about me. If i am a teacher, I have a big responsibility and I do not want to ruin it. So, you can say if I want to be a teacher, I will choose to be a good one.

"Funny Rhymes" (journal entry dated 01.03.2007)

When the duck starts to quack,
I start to pack.
When the duck starts to attack,
I start to hide in my sack.
And when the duck starts to bite,
I start to fight.

Being a random person that I am, I decided to post some of the entries that were written my brother (yeah that cute-but-can-be-oh-so-annoying one). I thoroughly enjoyed reading his journal and it certainly made my night =) Although his grammar is.... hmmm.

Anway, tomorrow will be my last day in school. =( Not last day of the semester. Neither is it the last day of the year. It is the last day of the entire course!!! No more lectures in the LTs. No more lab lessons. No more assignments. Aaargh. This is so hard. So much harder than I thought. I'm going to miss every freaking soul I met in nyp.

But for now, its chiong-ing for the exams and the ever-so-scary pre-registration consolidation placement. =) oh, i'm on a hiatus till the exams are over.

I'm still praying that what starts well, ends well.

2007-03-08T02:08:00.000+08:00

As I wonder what lies beyond,

(I pray for a sweet ending)

Picture from zoleia @ deviantart

2007-02-26T20:48:00.000+08:00

A name...
is what someone calls you...
is helpful...
is hurtful...
can bring grief...
can bring joy...
may save...
may destroy...
brings peace...
brings chaos...
a name...
is something that is yours...
something that you love...
something that you despise...
can be harmony...
can be a tongue twister...
may bring memories of good...
or bad...
brings laughter...
brings sorrow...
now I ask
what is yours
think carefully
(what will your name bring)

By Gomer Gunnoe

2007-02-25T14:01:00.000+08:00

I miss my old hair. =( I could bun it up, have it ponytailed or just let it loose. But now, aaaaargh!! Itchythewitchymooniethebeckside, i decided to chop it off. Thanks to the new hairdo, all the fats on my cheeks are accentuated. Bleargh!

But its ok I guess coz tomorrow there'll not only be Ms. Roundface, but there's also be Ms. Scarface ala Seal/50Cent raiding the school.

Muaaaahaaa. Ok lar, these pictures above are solely based on my less-than-purrfect artistic skills, warped imagination and much much exaggeration. Ms. Scarface (she calls herself that, i didn't label her wokay!) is still as pretty as ever despite the pox invasion. Don't get offended ey... =D Oh, I love my gurlfren! (in a platonic wayyy can..)

Ellise and Ilyas. Alyssa and Adam. How sweet. =)

2007-02-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

".... it gives off an aura of sophistication and elegance, y'knw......"
"..... nt too much zen... a lil' dose of modern twist..."

Not bad ey... especially for someone who was never html-friendly. Hehe. Thanks fa for those compliments. =D Can't wait to see you in school.

One week of school break is almost ending. Damn. I haven't hit the books at all. Time was merely wasted on bloghopping, msn-ing, net-surfing, teevee-watching and (slight) dusting of my room. Plus, eating! I have been munching (junk) continuously for the past week. Oh, imagine those calories/fats prancing around happily in my body, slowly hardening and attaching themselves in my arteries. Aaaargh!!!

I'm in love with Saving Jane. Nice, nice songs!!!!! =D

What does it mean when a 9-year old comes up to you and start talking about windpipes, alveoli, bronchioles and diaphragm? Gee, the ever-so-rigid education system. Cut this children some slack man!

2007-02-21T18:10:00.000+08:00

I wanted to start on the sociology ICA but I can't. I can't seem to find the damn article that I'm suppose to research on. The closest (only) I got to was this:

Job satisfaction and organisational change in hospitals : final report on the Nursing Staff Project in Wales. Written by Wallis & Cope. Published in 1980.

And according to the website, I can find this book in the nearest library. In United Kingdom. -_- I searched our institution's library catalogue but found no results. My dear group mates, how ar?

Sociology of work stinks.

2007-02-21T12:03:00.000+08:00

Layout changed yet again. Heh.

School has been hectic as usual. As cher puts it, we have been P to the I to the A to the H (PIAH-ing) for our ICAs and by the grace of god, we actually managed to secure an A for one of 'em. =) Ooh...15% of the grades in the bag. =)

School is ending (really, really) soon. Less than a month left before i surrender myself to be slaughtered by the nurses/sisters/patients. It's not even one semester. Heck, its not even half a semester and we're almost ending. There goes my comfort zone. Eergh.

I have so many plans after graduation. Plans that may or may not materalize. Sometimes, things just doesn't go the way you want it to be. As much as you hope it would, it just wouldn't. And that sucks.

2007-01-17T14:37:00.000+08:00

Okay, update. I know. These people have been pestering me to update my blog. Sheesh. Waitt lar!

I'm f'course back in school, being loaded with 4 heavy modules. 2 dry modules (management in nursing. wth?) with extremely boring lecturers. Boring to the extent that I can't even lull myself to sleep. Cher has to start physically abusing herself in order to survive those lectures. This is bad. =(

Oh well, like it or not I still have to get through it. Several months left till PRCP and graduation (altho, i'm not really looking forward to it) so, bear with it moonie! I went for the NUH interview on Monday. Overall, it was pretty okay (i think) but I couldn't tell for sure if she was pleased with what i was saying. I'm just too politically correct at times. Maybe she felt my answers were 'unreal'? Oh, i don't know. Wait till I hear from them then (if i do hear from them, that is).

Cupid (Greek God of erotic love. woohoo!!) has shot 2 arrows this year (or last year). =) Congratulations peeps. =D Ey cupid, when my turn ar? Haaahaaaha. Just kidding hokay. I'm so not desperate. Listen hor cher. Don't misread/misinterpret my words. Hohohohoho. I'm exactly what the wristband says. =) Heehe.

Jun, biler nak kahwin? Don't forget sambal sotong, prawn, sushi, nasi putih and begedil tau!!

I don't know what to write already. Aiyo, non-conducive environment lar. In the library cafe with Fa (as she waits patiently for mr.lim. hehe). I better go before i die from asphxia.The body odor of the neighbour is overwhelming. Pui!!

2006-12-28T18:49:00.000+08:00

i miss school.
i miss them.
i miss burning midnight oils.
i miss biology.
i miss studying*.

When you stay at home for too long, you'll start longing for the most ridiculous things*. Less than a week left to re-opening of school and I can't waitt. =) I'm not looking forward to the first day tho because my 2 kakis would not be there. =( They're off somewhere, debating. Nonetheless, good luck girls!!

2006-12-19T15:57:00.000+08:00

Its been raining heavily. Dark clouds, lightning and thunder. Gloomy and frightening at times. As if someone has incurred His wrath.

I like it only just after the rain stops. The coolness and dampness of the air. The freshness of the air. The rain seems to have cleansed your soul. I like that feeling. A sense of rejuvenation. If only I could take a long walk in this weather.......

But this weather will soon be over. And soon, it'll be back to the all familiar hot and humid Singapore. =( Where I'll be soaked with perspiration and roasted.

-------------------------

Its been truly an Asian's week. Firstly, the Asian team won the Lexus Cup! The Lexus Cup is an annual golf tournament held at the Tanah Merah Country Club. This is the first time I watched a golf tournament and I'm beginning to like it. Watch it and you'll realise that it's not just another rich man's sport. Congrats to Grace Park & team. Looks like World No. 1 Annika Sorenstam has to fly home empty handed. Oh well...

I hate to spoil this but YUL KWON is the sole survivor for Survivor: Cook Islands. =) Hohohohoho. Sorry if I burst your bubble. Heh. :P

I like Hiroyoshi Takayama. Who's he? Google it yourself. No,he's not some japanese singer/actor. Whee. =)

2006-12-09T17:11:00.000+08:00

currently listening: Tears by X Japan

Friendster is playing Copperfield. Poof! My photos all disappeared. Poof! It appeared again. Poof! It disappeared, yet again. Last I checked, friendster swallowed thirty of my photos, leaving me with only two. Thanks eh, friend-ster. One more time you mess with me, i will terminate my account. Hmmph! (Cheedebah! macam betul sak.. haahaa)

It's raining today. I'm in the mood for sad movies. OK, i'm just being random here. I feel like blogging but I have no idea what to write about so yeah, a random entry.

2006-12-03T20:09:00.000+08:00

That's it. Unless the malay weddings stop employing old uncles/aunties to sing (were they even singing? geez), I am not going to attend any of them anymore! I'm serious, hor.

I'm going deaf. And I'm sure you know why.

Oh yeah, if any of my dear friends decide to commit the same terrible mistake on their wedding day, I kirim salam sua. Muaaaaahaaaaaha.

2006-12-02T17:53:00.000+08:00

Its funny how you can be so closely related but emotionally, you are miles apart.

I attended her wedding today. I didn't want to but I had to. According to dear mum, it is my responsibility to attend it. It is after all, my sister's wedding. I have to admit she looked great, apart from the inch-thick make-up. Those mak-andams. Goodness. Anyway, the thing is, throughout the whole ceremony, i was void of emotions. I didn't feel her happiness, shared her joy like any sister would. I could see that she was euphoric but that's it. I felt nothing. It felt as though I was attending a stranger's wedding. Somebody that I didn't know. Somebody that didn't matter much to me. Sad, but it's true.

Oh yeah, i barely exchanged ten words with her. So overall, the experience was terrible. I was alone and i couldn't fit in. I still have to attend her majlis persandingan tomorrow. So i guess i'll have to bring john grisham and couple of others for company. In that way, I wouldn't feel so alone. =(

I have nothing against her. Although I don't feel her happiness/share her joy, I'd still hope she's happy. Everyone has a right to happiness and she's not an exception.

Did I say that they'll have karaoke for tmr's wedding? OMG. I loathe malay weddings!

2006-12-01T18:27:00.000+08:00

The marathon is coming to an end. I can see the finishing line. I can see it. Just a lil' bit more left to go. Just push myself further and i'll complete it. Hopefully, it'll end it with a victory.

The days in nyp have been filled with both sweet and unpleasant memories. The building (or rather, only the SHS block) that i'm so familiar with, the teachers (only those that deserved to be remembered =P), the food (south canteen, cheap McDonalds) and the friendships that i've built. I'm going to miss them all.

Time spent chilling with them over lunch, studying together (trying so hard to decipher what organ/vessel that was) at the bio lab, recording our 'home' made video and our bonding sessions outside are moments that I hold dear and will keep in memory. I can still remember these moments vividly and hopefully, it won't fade with time. At the very least, I still have the video with me. I can still watch it, even if it's ten years down the road. =)

If I could turn back time, I'd go through it again. Go through both the happy and bitter experiences again. I wouldn't change anything because each experience (be it good or bad) had a purpose.

Next in the pipeline is PRCP. Let's pray that it'll be uneventful and i'll pass it on the first attempt. =) Hopefully after that, I'll be a nurse that's both competent and efficient. And not a nurse that they want to strike off the register.

2006-11-21T20:58:00.000+08:00

ED! ED! ED! Yes, finally to the emergency department. The frontline. Where all the action is!

2 days in the P2 area. I did loads of parameters (its hourly, by the time you finish one round of patients you'll realise eh, time for next para already..) and ECGs. The nurses keep telling us to ask questions (we are a quiet bunch), to find out more what we want to learn. But alas, we were all too caught up with bedside care. Gee. I wanted to learn more, wanted to ask questions but they don't seem to come out. Oh well.....

P1 on friday. Active resuscitation on the way? Hmm. If there is, fabulous. Time to observe and perhaps practice the real stuff. I feel so envious of those who left ED with many first, unforgettable experiences. Hopefully, by friday, I'll leave ED with my objectives fulfilled (whatever they are).

Paramedic seems like a fun job. Shall i consider the SCDF?? Hmmmm.....

Results to be released on Friday. DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-18T16:26:00.000+08:00

I thought I was strong, or at least I pretended to be
I thought I could hang on, no matter how tough it'll be
I thought I could have my mask on, at least till I get home
But alas, dear momma burst my bubble and suddenly, i felt so vulnerable.

No, i'm not upset.
O-kay, maybe a little. But I made a promise to someone that I wouldn't talk to her about it, so I won't. And, I guess it must have been difficult for her as well.

I wanted to keep mum about it because I believed that I could overcome it. I somehow believed that the wheels will start to turn soon, and I'll see the light again.

I didn't dare to ask anyone, not even those dear to me. That feeling. I just cannot get past it. Imagine your body being submerged in a cauldron of boiling water, as the heat slowly penetrates through your skin, your flesh. You just feel so 'raw' and there's nothing left to cover yourself. And f'course, you'll feel the pain.

But anyway, I appreciate your concern. =) I really do. That lil' gesture did a whole lot. I'm feeling so much better now. Thank you.

There are many others out there who are worst off, but they still made it. So, I know I will too. I will not despair. I will press on. For, I'm blessed with wonderful people around me and I know that He loves me. =)

2006-11-13T19:29:00.000+08:00

I am appalled. Shocked beyond words.

A nasogastric tube is a tube that is passed through the nose and down through the nasopharynx and esophagus into the stomach. It is used to decompress the stomach, for feeding purposes and for administration of medications. A suction catheter, on the other hand is a long, narrow flexible tube used to remove secretions from the oropharynx and trachea. They are 2 (totally) different tubes for different purposes. As far as i'm concerned, they are not interchangeable!

A fully certified enrolled nurse with 4 years of experience in paediatric ward. My, my. How could you ever forget how an NG tube looks like? O-kay, maybe that is still pardonable. But using a suction catheter for feeding purposes?? How in the friggin' world will you secure the catheter, with the tip of the catheter at the nostrils? You even have the cheek to admit that you have performed this several times. The reasons you gave to justify your actions were ridiculous. Ey, which institution are you from? I doubt ITE teaches their students that.

I worry for the patient's under her care. I understand that there is no fast and hard rule in nursing. Different people have their own way of performing procedures. To save time, nurses resort to 'short-cut' methods. Personally for me, short cuts are acceptable as long as they DO NOT compromise the safety of the patients. After all, we do not have the luxury of time. But the above mentioned, to me is simply horrible. I do not think that her actions were justifiable.

Does it mean then, the next time she wants to perform CISC she could use an NG tube? It is after all similar to the tube normally used for CISC, but only longer. -Gasp-

If one day I feel i'm no longer interested in nursing or if feel that i can no longer provide safe nursing care, I'll quit. It beats harming others and leaving in shame.

2006-11-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

What would you do if you see a fallen branch?

Would you kick it away or would you pretend it's non-existent and walk on? Or would you stop to pick it up and try to see which tree this branch came from? Perhaps even try to re-attach the fallen branch back to its tree? Or would you pick it up and then break it?

Would you feel sad for the branch? Would you wonder why the branch was lying on the ground? Would you wonder if the tree experienced any pain, now that one of its branches is gone? Would you wonder if that branch too, experienced pain? Would you?

i guess maybe, not.

2006-11-09T17:08:00.000+08:00

Byebye exams(insyallah). Hello attachment.

2 weeks with the old & wrinkled, a week with the acutely ill and another week in the OT.

Almost a week had passed (with the geri) and boy, am i exhausted! Cher wrote that she had to send uncles and aunties to the loo almost every other minute. Guess what cher, me too!! =) I've just joined your club. It doesn't help that my cubicle and the dirty utility are at opposite ends. It sucks even more that now my shoes are a lil' tad too tight and i have no time (and lazy) whatsoever to buy them. I'd be limping across the ward by the time its time to sign out. Nyehhnyehh. And as usual, there are patients who love to drain/suck your energy. Every ounce that is left in you. To the extent, you'd be too tired to even go home and wished you could bunk in the ward. Difficult people, i can still tahan. But impatient people? Wahlaueyy!! Slappppslapppslappp them! God only gave me a pair of hands, and unfortunately also, I can be quite clumsy. So, waitttt lar!! One more time and i swear i'll........................... lock you up in the toilet. You can micturate and defecate twenty-four/seven. =D

phew. im finally done ranting. so many pent-up emotions. I tried to write them down in a book (ala diary) but oh well, i used the book to write notes instead.

im hungry and my feet needs reflexology. o-kay, i go find food now.

2006-10-18T19:24:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU!!

A big thank you to all the mates for remembering my nineteenth birthday! =) Hehe. I thank cher, fa, jil, su, shid, zul and lionel for the great prezzies!! I loved the shirts. I loved the card (it's fa's creation, btw). I loved the superlipgloss.I loved the lip-chain. And f'course, i loved the hugs although erm.. Waaaahaa. (Their hugs are scary, I tell you! No kiddin!) Once again, thank you much2.

- applying layers (many, many) of superlipgloss on the upper lip-

i only have one wish for my nineteenth birthday. That is, to pass my exam (well). =) It sucks when exams are near Raya. NYP doesn't know how to plan timetables, be if for academic or clinical. Nyehh.

-applying layers (many, many) of superlipgloss on the lower lip-

Selamat Berpuasa everyone and hope you guys have a great Raya. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki dan bahagia selalu. =)

- eh, so fast finish already? i told them, they should've bought two-

2006-10-15T11:23:00.001+08:00

I sent off my aunt/uncle at the airport yesterday. They were going for Umrah, planning to finish the last days of Ramadhan and welcome Syawal there. I hope they had a safe journey.

The airport was divided into 2 mini towns yesterday. One one end, its a Geylang Serai. On the other, its a Little India. The place was packed! It seems as if Raya was y'day. Geez. My head was throbbing as i tried to get around. I dislike crowds. And then, it was off to buka with the cousin. Finding a place to eat was another issue altogether. Popeye was just like another KFC and the queue at Swensens was terrible. It was 6.30pm and we still haven't decided where to eat. After much debate, we decided to hail a cab and eat at Tampines.

Cab fare was so not worth it. There was a $5.00 airport surcharge plus an extra $2.00 surcharge for the peak period or sumthing. The cab has not started moving and we already had to pay $9.50. Goodness. How come the last time( a year ago) I took a cab from terminal 1, there wasn't any surcharges. Hmm....

And then we ate at Kampung Eden. Reasonable prices and the food was quite palatable. In the end, we broke fast at 7 plus.

After buka, we decided to jalan-jalan at Tampines. My sweet cousin bought me an early birthday prezzie. A new pair of sandals! =) Thankew, kak nur. Hehe. We walked, walked and walked until we decided its time to go home.

The last 2 days were great. Bonding sessions with the pals and cuzzie. =) Okay, time to study already.

-frantically trying to find my books-

2006-10-13T23:35:00.000+08:00

Another week (7days, 168 freakin hours) has passed and i have yet to start preparing for the exams! Procrastination dominates once again. Sheesh.

On a brighter side, I ended the week with a nice trip out with the gang. =D The trip was planned wayy but we almost had to cancel it becoz many people couldn't make it. Suddenly at the last minute tho, everybody was able to make it and so, out we go! Talk about impromptu. =)

We headed to sgh first and visited shid's mum. That woman was so nervous (hell, i don't know why =P) about bringing us to see her mum. Don't worry k, we are very civilised, pleasant people. (we'll hide our tanduks just for a while) Haaaaha. Anyway, I pray she has a speedy recovery. InsyaAllah. =D

And then, we're off to ViVo City at Harbourfront. Huge place. Nice decor and i love their lime green stools. i love the view too. =) toys-r-us just makes us go insane. really insane. i think toys-r-us are gonna ban us from entering again lest we start destroying the toys in excitment. Hehe. (p.s: we wrestled with barney)

Buka at Simpang Bedok!! Simply delicious. Especially the chicken cheese roti-john (shown below).

Overall, a great bonding session with the mates. Stomach full = I happy. =D Time to hit the pillows now.

P.S: Good luck fa/zul for your inter-varsity debate competition tmr. I sincerely wish you guys all the best. Truly am sorry that I cannot be there to cheer you guys on but I know you guys won't disappoint me!! Do your best. Gambate!!

2006-10-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

Phobia (fo-be-a): 1.A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous.
2. strong fear, dislike, or aversion.

I randomly googled the word 'phobia' and guess what i got. I was directed to "The Phobia List" webpage. I never knew there were soooooo many different types of phobia. From A to Z. You just name it, they have it. And some ridiculous ones too.E.g. If you are a afraid of Japan/ Japanese people, you have Japanophobia. Weird right? Well i guess this list is not exhaustive coz they missed out Mat-nophobia & Minahs-nophobia. Locals would understand what I mean. Heh.

Why exactly do we develop phobia? Perhaps, it's due to a past traumatic event. Yeah, I think most probably. Is there any way to cure phobia then? Phobia-factor maybe? So, if I win then I can say phobia is definitely not a factor for me! Heh. But seriously, is there any cure? Or anything to lessen the fear/dislike?

I have aquaphobia. For the dimwits, it means having a morbid fear of drowning. I hate going near the sea, near swimming pools, near reservoirs or any place that collects enough water to drown me. I seriously AM afraid. I think the reason I develop this phobia is because I almost drowned before. In the sea. It was a terrible experience, I tell you. Everything was dark, your mind goes blank, you can't breathe and you hear voices telling you that you are dying. If my darling cousin hadn't pulled me to safety, I probably would be in heaven (or hell, whichever) now. Learn swimming? Yeah right. I'm fated to be the damsel in distress. Heh.

One of my dear friends has (hmm, wait lemme check what's the name) herpetophobia. Ok, can't blame you peeps out there if you can't figure this out. It means having a fear of reptiles or creepy crawly things. For her, its specifically LIZARDS. She doesn't have to see it. Just the mention of it makes her all jumpy and uneasy. I tell you, she does her very, very best to avoid this creepy crawly. There is a sheltered walkway from the MRT station that leads to my school. And this sheltered walkway happens to be the lizards haven. Can you imagine her agony everytime she walks to and fro? Haaaha. Poor girl. She has to use the hood of her jacket to cover her head everytime! I understand your fears girl. I truly do coz I too, have my own phobia.

Its really a feeling one cannot control. Takut means takut lar... We're not cowards okay. We just can't help it.

So everybody, be nice okay. Stop being cynical. Stop saying "its just a lizard lor". It may be just a lizard to you but to others, it means another thing altogether. =)

2006-10-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

Finally, after sooo many nights of doing research, preparing the slides and what-have-you, the ICAs are over! Whee! nannynannypoopoo.. =D Just have to submit one last written assignment by god knows when. Week 27 i think.

i wonder if you know
how they live in tokyo
if you see me then you mean it
then you know you have to go
fast and furious (drift, drift, drift)
fast and furious (drift, drift, drift)

They say, happiness is short-lived. True hor. ICAs may be over but not the semestral examinations. They are coming ooh real soon and i'm so not prepared. Still in denial. Still thinking that exams are coming wayyy later. Nyehh. Exams sucks. Stress level goes up, i study more, i get hungry more, i eat more. End results: stressed, exhausted flabby me. So much for trying to shed those extra kilos.
Everything goes up during this period, hmm, maybe my grades can follow suit? =)

i wonder if you know

how they live in tokyo

if you see me then you mean it

then you know you have to go

fast and furious (drift, drift, drift)

everytime shid opens her mouth, its always 'exam'. nyehh. study soon moo! study soon all!

........17 DAYS left.......

2006-10-08T19:33:00.000+08:00

My emotions are screwed. There's like a zillion feelings in me now. i can feel my heart racing and my pulse bounding, but i don't know why. i try to freeze my emotions, single them out and try to resolve them. But i can't. It just keeps pouring in. At an increasing speed. I feel as if i'm in a car with Michael Shumacher taking the driver's seat. =( i'm trying so hard to breathe now. -inhales slowly- trying. -exhales slowly-

So many emotions all at once. Happy, sad, bitter, regret, etc. Oh gosh, i sound like i'm psychologically imbalanced. Bleargh. anyway,this never happened before. I guess, maybe i've drank too much tea (caffeine overdrive?). maybe.

several minutes later,

phew. im feeling quite all right now. the heart's still racing quite a bit though. -takes deep breaths-

2006-10-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

You could have said thank you. You could have given us constructive feedback. You could have accepted the brochure, diary and slide handouts. Even if you refused, you could have said no, thank you. You could have been more partial. You could have been more pleasant. You could have been more sensitive. But, you DIDN'T.

You chose to be a petty, prejudiced bitch with make-up more colorful than that of the rainbow. So much for being an oncology nurse with more than 20 years of experience. No wonder the mortality rates of onco patients have increased steadily over the years. No wonder..... Hmm.

I know I'm not supposed to be bitching during this holy month. But, I just had to get it out of my system. Just had to, otherwise I'll start voodoo-ing. Heh.

Oh well, its over now. We gave it our best shot. And i'm really proud of ourselves. To hell with what she thinks. Well done mates. =) If she doesn't want our work, I'll keep it. I'm sure our products would be better off with me. =)

2006-10-01T16:15:00.000+08:00

This morning, I saw my lil' bro made a card. Guess for who? It was for himself.

To: Luqman

Happy Childrens' Day

From: Luqman

So kesian rite? I always thought childrens' day was just like any other typical day. Even when I was still a child, I still thought so. It wasn't of any great importance. At least, to me. But alas, I was wrong. I didn't know that childrens' day meant a great deal to my brother. I felt sad and guilty when I saw him made a card for himself. =(

I know that I'm not the best sister you could ever have. I know that I'm harsh towards you most of the time (must be my hormones). I know that I tease you a lot, even to the extent of making you cry. I'm sorry. That's just what I am. I have difficulty expressing myself especially in front of my loved ones. But remember one thing tho, your sister loves you. =)

HAPPY CHILDRENS' DAY

Anyway, happy childrens' day to you and children everywhere. =) - sings semoga bahagia -

p.s: I did make for him a card okay. Its just that i woke up real late and forgot to give it to him.

2006-09-30T22:24:00.000+08:00

"Nowadays,you watch tv only! I never see you read books at all!."

"No. I did. I read books. In school. =)"

Well, that was my lil' bro talking to my mum. That cheeky fella.

Anyway, reading is a habit that many parents are trying to cultivate in their children. But the thing is, the parents are not cultivating the interest to read. Rather, they are forcing their children to read. =( Perhaps, because of the competitiveness in Singapore, parents are making their children read books that are too difficult for them. They feel that by doing so, their children would be able to learn more and be a step higher than the rest.

Bleargh. What they're doing is just intensifying their childrens' dislike towards reading.

Personally for me, reading should be an enjoyable and enriching experience. Learning comes naturally with reading. =)

Btw, I just finished reading "Keeping Faith" by Jodi Picoult. Awesome, awesome writing.
Up next, i'll be reading "My Sister's Keepers" by Jodi Picoult. I cant waitt!

For synopsis & reviews: www.jodipicoult.com

Thanks fa for recommending these books to me. =) I upah u sweet hokay?

2006-09-27T23:03:00.000+08:00

So much for studying. Nyehh! I still messed up my theory paper. Out of 25 marks for SAQ, i really, really wonder how much i'll get.. Hmmm.

Sometimes, i'm just too alert for my own good. Thinking, reading in between the lines at the wrong times. The question was simple and straightforward but yet I.... -slaps forehead- Thinking that COPD patients might be on a hypoxic drive lar, cannot have too much oxygen. GRRRR... Its a cardiac arrest! Obviously, 100% oxygen must be given!! What's with the stupid air compressor shitt? The oxygen level can be titrated later (using ABG results as a guide) once the patient stabilizes per.... That was a silly, silly mistake, moo. =( Try to think out of textbooks!

I hope my gut feeling really stinks this time. -keeps fingers crossed-

Oh yeah, don't worry. I won't attempt suicide just because i (might) fail my paper [CHOY! touch wood] or if my GPA drops. I'm not that weak. =)

- Reading: Quiet As a Nun by Antonia Fraser-

2006-09-26T16:49:00.002+08:00

- studying -

I can never trust my gut feeling. Ever! Just like when i had a feeling, Jon will win, he didn't. =( Nevertheless, I'm happy that Hady won. With that vocal prowess of his, he deserved it.

- studying -

I have a feeling next year that there'll be no Singapore Idol. Nyehh. My gut feeling stinks.

- studying -

I like sepet eyes. The sepet-ter, the better =D

2006-09-23T00:06:00.000+08:00

Senior Student Nurses (SSNs). Hehe

I realised that in my previous entry, I didn't give enough credit to my group. Or rather, it wasn't obvious enough.Especialy after I read fa's and cher's blog. I don't write as well as them... But anyways, working with this people was definitely a blast. As cher puts it, teamwork at its best. =) It's not easy to find a group of people that you not only can chill out with, but also work with. I'm glad that i found these people. =) Cheerios peeps! My heartfelt gratitude to all..

Maybe we can work together again next semester? -wide smile-

2006-09-22T20:26:00.000+08:00

I am finally done with those 2 ICAs. Phew! -wipes perspiration off forehead- Overall, i think we did well. The presentations went as we expected. There were some glitches here and there but i'm still satisfied. =) Don't know if the class enjoyed it though. Its hard to judge because everytime a group presents, the rest of the class seems to be on diazepam. But waitt, who cares? Its what the lecturer think that matters, no? I want an 'A'. So, you better give me
what i want or else....... -singing darling violetta's song-.... Heh.

Coming (very) soon....

HS 3041 Theory Test (next week)
HS 3041 Practical Test: Air Viva Testing, Airway Management, Assisting in ETT Intubation, ETT Suctioning, CVP Monitoring. (next week)
ICA on Care of the Acutely ill & Oncology
Semestral Examination

One load off, here comes another. Never ending assignments. -sighs- Stress level is increasing by the day. There goes my weekend. Study.Study.Study. Till the exams are over. -sighs- 3 books to study for one module. And i have more than 1 module that'll be tested -sighs- Eeergh. Will I be able to cross this hurdle, yet again? -sighs-

The beautiful month of Ramadhan is arriving in 2 days time. A month of fasting awaits. =)

" Wahai orang-orang yang beriman telah diwajibkan ke atas kamu berpuasa sebagaimana telah diwajibkan ke atas orang-orang sebelum kamu agar kamu bertaqwa" (surah Al-Baqarah ayat 183)

Marilah kita melaksanakan ibadah puasa di bulan yang mulia ini dengan penuh keikhlasan semoga kita tergolong di dalam golongan orang-orang yang bertaqwa. InsyaAllah. =)

Imsakiah Ramadhan:

http://www.muis.gov.sg/cms/uploadedFiles/MuisGovSG/Downloads/Imsakiah2006.doc

I guess i could also use this opportunity to lose weight, no? =)

2006-09-19T19:14:00.000+08:00

I went to www.singaporeidol.com and browsed through the contestants' blog. There wasn't anything interesting about their entries. What caught my attention though, were the comments posted by the general public (namely Singaporeans.) Most of us should know that Hady Mirza & Jonathan Leong made it to the finals of the Singapore Idol Competition. If you still don't, oh well what can i say? One is Malay and the other is Chinese. Ey waitt, deja-vu ar.. Wasn't this like last year, with Taufik and Sly?

Anyway, what's up with those racist comments man? If you can't think of any constructive comments, then I suggest that you should just press "delete". Yeah, that one on your keyboard. Or better still, exit from the blog section. That'll keep your itchy fingers from typing those racist comments. Singapore Idol is a singing competition, not a competition to judge which race is better. To think that we are living in Singapore, a civilised multi-cultural society.It seems to me that years of Civics & Moral Education as well as National Education has failed terribly. =( Sad. History may possibly repeat itself.

Ok enough of singapore idol. The video is finally completed. =) Yeay. I think its pretty well done, given that none of us had any prior training in making a video. Bravo mates! Let's hope we'll have an uneventful presentation come Thursday. =D It'll be nice to watch this video 10 years from now and reminisce about our days in NYP. Hehe. Now that reminds me. I have 9 months more to graduation. WTH. So fast??? Oh my goodness.....

Imagine: RN S.M. Registered Nurse. Wah. Steady ar? Haaaaha. But with that, comes BIG pressure and HUGE responsibility. No more room for blunders. No more excuses. No more i'm-only-a-student attitude. For one small mistake can cause a life. Haiz. More vigilance and diligence!!! Let's be optimistic. Apart from this, there's the monehhh... Although the salary is meagre, i guess i should be contented. As the quote goes, 'happiness is for the self-sufficient". =) And there's the eye candy (read: cute doctors). Wooohoooo!!! LOL. =P And of course, the satisfaction I get whenever my patients appreciate what I do for them. Now that's the ultimate reward.

2006-09-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

Its official. I've withdrawn from the overseas attachment programme in London. I am disappointed but hey, life goes on. I am feeling much better now as compared to several days ago. I may have lost this opportunity but this does not spell the end of me. =) I still have many things in life to complete, like graduate. Heh. I always believe in this saying though "When one door closes, another opens". I'm sure there are more better opportunites coming. InsyaAllah. =)

More pressing tasks at hand now are the 2 ICAs that's due next week. Haiz.

We did some recording today for our nursing project. It was hilarious. There were soo many bloopers. Well, for me at least. Haaaaha. Thank god that i am in nursing. Otherwise, I'd just be wasting film. I'd probably take a hundred takes just to get a scene right. Serious. I just cannot keep my composure in front of the camera. And, i tend to show off my neck more than needed, as well as my sultry lips. Heh. After we finished recording, we realised that our bags were invaded by red ants!! It was everywhere! Mind you, red ants do bite and they hurt.I bet there's still some more in my bag right now. That's it. I'll soak my bag in a bucket full of detergent and drown all the red ants! See whether you can still bite. Hmmph. =P

2006-09-08T17:48:00.000+08:00

Today was a relatively a good day, until i came home. Grrrrr... I'd rather not discuss it.

I was teased in school today. I was and still am embarassed. All thanks to my dear friends. Heh. The feedback form. Stuffs like "....excellent service..", "....warm demeanour..", "...cute =)...", "....girl in white.." were included. I think I better go dig a hole somewhere and hibernate. Malu, ya'know. Dammit. Maybe i should just stay away from McDonalds, lest he thinks I am desperate stalker. Or maybe come Monday, he'll forget about it and i can buy food from McDonalds once again, holding my head up high. =)

I loathe Mental Health tutorials. I'm forever being sucked into Brother's insane world and then I'm left there, feeling lost. I always have to find my own way back to reality. Irritating. Its always a cliff hanger. No full stop. Nada. Zilch. Brother, thank you for making me all confused after each lesson.

After school, Fa and I head off to Bugis. She had to buy her sister's stuffs and i (being a nice person that i always am =D) accompanied her. Hehe. Whenever we plan to chill together, i always can't make it. Maybe its better not to plan. Just be spontaneous. It was a short outing but it felt great to chill with your buddy. =) So Fa, don't complain I never go out with you hor...

2006-09-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

Though it may seem bleak, I am still trying to keep my hopes up. Keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed. Hopefully, things will work out the way they were planned to.

And just when you think you had it, you'd realise that everything was just a figment of your imagination. Damn.

2006-09-05T18:15:00.000+08:00

Lessons ended at 1 today. Don't know why but they seem to end earlier this semester. Fewer contact lectures = more reading up on your own. Damn. Oh well, i guess that's how life is when you're in your final year. No more spoon-feeding. Nada. Independence is the word.

After lessons ended at 1, our gang headed to South Canteen for lunch. Eh, hungry tau! There were no breaks at all today. Ouh yeah, tomorrow too. I better eat breakfast before i get hypo. I am not going to collapse in the presence of the cardiac thumper. Imagine a machine doing CPR on you! Okay, hypo doesn't equate to no pulse. I know. I'm just imagining aiight.. Anyway, back to South Canteen. We had a hearty meal and chatted for almost 2 hours! I finally realised that Andy is such a Paris Hilton! Really a himbo at times. LOL. Lionel bought dessert and before he could eat, he found a strand of curly hair floating in it. Haaaahaa. Its so disgusting and cher (as usual) made jokes about it. The dessert seller and her armpit hair. Haaaahahaa. Funny! Poor Lionel.. he never got to eat that dessert. LOL. And the jokes never stopped. =D

One thing I learnt from cher today is: Never offend service-providers! Ever! You may never know if your frothy coffee is really 100% pure coffee. You wouldn't want to risk having saliva cum phlegm in your coffee, no? Nor do you want to have your fish burger patty being kicked and stepped upon before being fried and served, do you? Haaaahaa. Its hard to believe but apparently, its true. Oh well, i'll put on my best smile the next time i drop by a fast food restaurant and pray that what i get is really what i paid for. Nothing more. Nothing less. =D

I think Dr Loo thinks we are freaks. Gee, how?

2006-08-31T13:09:00.000+08:00

Shedding babats is tough. So, the best way is to pray. One for all, all for one! =)

This reminds me of my fa-rting machine. =) I owe u day out, i know. We'll catch up soon. Not forgetting tubs and tubs of ben & jerry's. -wink-

Simply Yummy!

2006-08-27T19:24:00.000+08:00

Simply yummy! Oh gosh, Im drooling. I want to eat those. I'd like to bake them myself but on second thought, i'd rather not. I can't afford to burn my flat down. My parents will kill me! Heh. So i guess i'll just have to buy 'em or better still, waitt for someone to bake them (yet again.=D).

Im having a week off from from school. Im not excited at all. I don't like holidays. Weird right? I dun mind 2 days off but a week seems long. When i have too much time in my hands, i'll start thinking bout my exams, loads of e-learning tt i have not yet done and tonnes of modules to be studied. I'll just get stressed in the end. Maybe some stress can really get me started on my books. Erm, maybe. I procrastinate a lot lar... Oh yeah, when i get stressed thinking about all those things, i'll just end up doing nothing (read: sleep). Teruk! C'mon moonie, exams are coming real soon. Wake up! Start burning!!! There's one thing that im looking forward to during this break tho, NR0416's Chalet!! Can't wait for it! Its precious time spent with my dear friends. We've been so busy with school work this semester and we haven't had time to chill. And this time around, cher's coming. Purr-fect. =)

My 5Cs!:
cheese (any kind!! erm, okay except you know...),
chocolate (i'm thinking fondue.. yummyy!),
corn,
camui gackt (bring him here babeh! kawaii ne.. =P) &
one of the other typical 5Cs.(see, im not greedy..=D)

P.S: The pictures above are from www.hersheys.com

2006-08-20T17:32:00.001+08:00

It takes a lot of patience, understanding and compromise to live with another person under one roof. It takes even more of those to live with three. -sighs- Maybe living alone would be better. On second thought, maybe not. Oh well.........

I am skeptical but yet at times, i do believe in fate. Erm, contradicting right? Im confused myself. heh. I don't think i understand myself that well. What i feel that i want may not be what i really want. So, what do i desire? What do i really, really want then? Sad but i don't know. Perhaps someday gacktui can enlighten me. heh.

Right now though, I want to bungee jump. I want to sky dive. I want to ride the most scariest, craziest roller coaster. I want to run 40 laps around the school track. As much as i want to, i forgot to realise that im afraid of heights,roller coasters (post final destination trauma) and that i failed my 2.4km run/walk ( 40 laps? pui!). Aiyo, how? Dun care. Someone give me an adrenalin jab now!!

2006-08-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since I last posted an entry. First, internet was down. Next, it was my computer. Thankfully, everything's up and running now. Woooohoooo!! No more staying back in the cold e-plaza just to use the internet. I could surf the net within the comforts of my own room. Wheee!! Ecstatic. Euphoric. =D

I had my NAPFA test 2 weeks ago. i failed, as i had expected. I passed all the other stations except the 2.4km run/walk. Failed by a minute plus. =( Oh well, i guess we're running next week then fa? Really, really need to shed those babats.

My two besties are drunk. Not literally. Emotionally drunk. LOL. I hope everything turns out well, you guys.If they don't, my shoulder is always there for the both of you.. =D

Out Japan. Welcome London. If all goes well, i might find myself in London come November 13th. InsyaAllah. A month away from home, from family and from friends. I feel sad but excited at the same time. It'd be cool to see how the nursing practice is like over there. I really pray that everything goes well. Like they say, man proposes, god disposes. Anything can happen.

2006-05-18T18:59:00.000+08:00

Debate competition is over [for us]. No more worrying about whether i have anymore content or whether i sound like a blabbering idiot when i speak. =D It feels like i just took a heavy load off my back. I can definitely heave a sigh of relief now. =D Congratulations to the other team for winning this debate. The result wasn't a surprise because it was expected they would win. I really didn't mind losing to them because they were really poweerrr! Its amazing how we manage to click despite having very few trainings together. Well i guess we have the same trait... we like to crap.. =D Haaaaha... And nizar, that unity in diversity is still stuck in my head. See how much impact that short phrase has?

Finally, i realised something. Debate is fun! Haaha.. That is, if its just normal debate w/o the stress of competition whatsoever. =D Oh yeah, did I tell you that the adjudicator was erm, charming? heh. It must be the way he speaks. -melting- LOL

I still need my dose of problem-repellant. Seems like no one has offered or willing to share with me. =(

2006-05-14T20:38:00.000+08:00

Quiz Galore. =D Look what i got. -wink-

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.

In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

They were right only up till 1998. Act smart only. =P

Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul.
You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have.
Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone.
You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Are a Yellow Flower

A yellow flower tends to represent joy, friendship, and playfulness.
At times, you are childlike, as a buttercup is.
And at other times, you are fickle, like a dahlia.
And more than you wish, you tend to feel bittersweet, like a marigold.

What Color Flower Are You?

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary.
People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.
And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.
You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.
It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Are an Oatmeal Raisin Cookie

On the surface, you're a little plain - but you have many subtle dimensions to your personality.
Sometimes you're down to earth and crunchy. Other times, you're sweet and a little gooey.

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

bored

2006-05-12T17:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Holidays to all! =D And f'course, happy mothers' day to all mothers out there. A long weekend awaits me and i better make good use of it. Hopefully, i will. The comp and telly are just too tempting. Aargh!.

I changed my blogskin again. =) Simply coz i had too much time in my hands. This is just gonna be another random entry. An entry that's written for the sake of updating the blog. Many many words but nada content. Heh. Hmm.. should be enough already i think. Blog updated. Job done =)

P/S: Debate competition > Got into semis. Muaaahaaaaha! Now, now, who say miracles don't happen?? -wink-

2006-05-07T16:21:00.000+08:00

Back to the wards again on Monday, after 2 weeks of slack. Its been a while since i was last posted to an adult ward. Hmm.. i really wonder if i could still remember all those procedures and whatknots. I was supposed to revise my skills but as anyone would've guessed, i didn't. I was busy voting for the elections. Yeah right. Im not even of age to vote yet. Nah, i was just busy procrastinating.

Double stress next week coz its debate competition. I have doubts about the mental state i was in when i actually wrote down my name for the debate competition. Perhaps I was lacking in Vitamin B1 and was suffering from Korsakof's Psychosis. That is, i was having amnesia with confabulation. Perhaps i forgot who i was and imagined that i was Kylie Lane. (Kylie Lane is ranked 1st in the 2005 World's Debate Speaker Tab. http://flynn.debating.net/mmuspk.htm ) Yeah, maybe that's what happened. Anyways, the name has been submitted and its too late to withdraw from the competition. So, that leaves me with 2 options. One, heck with everything and just give it my best shot or two, i could pretend I'm sick on that day and not turn up for the competition. Choosing the latter would make me such an irresponsible biatch and i have to make up for attachment on Sat. Nyehh. I wouldn't want that. So, i guess that just leave me with the former then. Okay, debate competition, here i come!! Gambate ne! =D

Eyyy... if we get to skip attachment on Wed, does it mean we'll have to do make up on Sat?? And what am i supposed to read up for debate? Too much info. My head is spinning like a gasing now.

2006-05-02T21:45:00.000+08:00

I finally understood what pun is. Thanks to fa. I still can't fully comprehend what nuances means.Any ping-pangs around to enlighten me? Heh.

Stoned. Zonked out. Tired. Jaded. Wait a sec. What do they actually mean? -dives into my Collins Cobuild- I still can't figure it out. Whatever. Heck, i don't even know what i'm writing now. Its just another purposeless entry in another senseless blog. Sheesh. I want to write something. But nothing's coming. But my fingers can't stop.I'm still typing. Still. I am moving again. Woohoo! I like moving! I like to mess up the whole house, fill my house with boxes and mess up the new house again, unpack the boxes and yada, yada, yada. =D

Singapore? Out. Australia? Out. I don't wanna stay in these two countries. I wanna go somewhere where people don't know me. Somewhere i can start anew. No more meeting people you don't want to meet. Escaping reality? Hell no. Its called running away. I like running. At the very least, it kills my babats. Hehe. Yeah, i know. SO, not funny! =P

2006-05-01T19:14:00.000+08:00

Words are dangerous. They hurt. They kill. They mutilate. They are more dangerous than the weapons of mass destruction. Once you've said it, you can't take it back. You can't pretend you did not say it. Neither can you pretend the other party didn't hear it, unless of course the other party is deaf. Heh. The hurt they inflict is much worse than physical hurt. Physical hurt can be seen, like bleeding from a wound but the former? You can't see it. And when you can't see it, how do you even go about healing it? Can it even be healed?

Choices of words are important. Let it slip from your mouth and it can destroy relations. At times, not even the magic word 'SORRY' can help to salvage the situation. The best way is to think before one speaks. Get one's brain and mouth to coordinate. If, by any unfortunate reasons that these 2 can't be coordinated, perhaps its better to keep that gap shut. Tightly shut. Like they always say, "No one will say you're dumb if you just kept quiet.". Wait. Was there even such a saying? Whatever. See what I mean? Brain mouth( or should it be brain-fingers> since im typing) coordination dysfunction. Aaargh. I better shut up now. =D

P.S: Anybody selling problems-repellant? Or Anybody have it? Can share?? C'mon, be nice people.=D

2006-04-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through my email and a pal sent me this link. Look what i got. The Tickle quiz was title "Who's your type?"

You fall hard and fast for the preppy man!

If he's conservative, friendly, and proper, he's just your sort! You fall hard and fast for the preppy man. Whether it's because of his handsome appearance or his impeccable hygiene, this man is a safe bet! He's fun and social without being immature or laddish. Your man is refined, associates with a refined crowd, and has a bit of an air tossed in for good measure. This suburban male is always put together well. He's simply cool, calm, and collected. Another quality that draws you to him is his ambition. He aims for success and follows the path that will lead him there. You respect how he always makes time for his friends and has a tendency to be a little silly. With this cheeky, well-groomed, man, you can rest assured that your life will be a dream!

If only =D haiz.. Fa and I discussed the quiz and we shared our answers. She likes clowns. LOL. I like preppy man. Which is cool actually. We won't fall for the same person. =D No pulling of hair or catfights whatsoever.. LOL. Nah, i won't fight with my gerfrens (InsyaAllah). I love them loads. For now, i'd much prefer friendship and single-ness. =D My preppy man can come later.=) Woohoo!

2006-04-26T21:10:00.000+08:00

Started at 8 today and worked until 2 before I left for school. Work was as usual, tiring. Although it has only been 3 days, i dread it. I don't want to work anymore. =( The workload's too heavy for me. Even nursing ain't that bad. Geez, i got to find an excuse to the tell the boss then. What should I say?? If she were'nt my relative, perhaps quitting would have been much easier. Haiz.

World Skills Training today. It was bad too. It was on asthma. C'mon moonie. Asthma? Whats so difficult? Yet, I screwed it up. Cheetot. Anyway, this lecturer told us that they might be planning a week study visit to Hamamatsu, Japan for all of us. Yeay!! I want to go!! Its Japan. The place that i've been wanting so much to go.But, 2 problems. One is moolah. Two is it clashes with the overseas attachment. If the trip is sponsored, it'd be cool! I said i don't wish but this time round, I'll make a wish. -i hope its sponsored!- But seriously, even if i can't go Japan this time round, it's okay. There'll still be loads of chances in the future. Cheer up moon! So cher, your superlovers gotta waitt hor! Haahaa.

oouh yeah, i changed my blogskin again. Sick of seeing Hyde's face. Lol. Nah, its the font. It appears small and cher complains that its hurting her eyesight. See how nice i am?? N i have no idea that in your eyes, i have anthrax-stricken lips. LOL.

I wanna make loads of money. Not that much lar, just enough to cover my travelling expenses. Not travelling around S'pore hor...

2006-04-25T18:50:00.000+08:00

Working in a cafe or nursing? I'd much prefer the latter, thank you. I'm not cut out to be a waitress. Period. =D Be my patron and I assure you, you'll starve to death. Muahhhaaahaa!! I am not kidding. Its worst if the cafe's tables are not numbered. I don't know who's orders belongs to who and may end up serving you the wrong food. So, sorry okay! Not like I purposely intend to do that. Be more forgiving lar. I'm new kayz. Chettot! And i'm so blardy tired. I am not only a waitress but also, a cleaner, a runner (run errands here n there.. geez, they never seem to end) and dishwasher. Belly good hor? Well, what to do? Im a multi-tasker/juggler.=D

Tomorrow's world skills training yet again. Got to go and prepare for it. Outz for now. =D

2006-04-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

I am in much, much better mood now. Thankfully. Big hugs to my friends that cared. =D Mwahhhks..

Yesterday was bbq day. It was fun but could've been better if Cher was there. =( There were loads of food! Yummy. The 300 bucks were definitely well spent coz the food were delicious. We had otah, chicken, stingray, squids, crab meat, sausages, prawns, fried rice and noodles, fruits and marshemellows dipped in hersey's choc. Woohoo!! There's many more lar but i can't seem to remember. Hurhur. Must be because i ate too much. =P The bbq started with bbq-ing food f'course. I chipped in helping to bbq the food, that is until hoong eng and mics took over. Hehhe... Our imported chefs. =P Our dear mannequin couldn't wait to eat and once he started, well he never stopped.

After which, we proceeded to playing games. We were divided into teams of 4 and the losing team would be thrown water bombs. My team lost and i fell many times. Haaahaa.. That's so expected right? Everybody got wet anyway, not just the losing team. It was a mad rush of getting everybody wet. Nobody cared if the other party brought extra clothes or not. Haaaha.. And the best part f'course was dunking ppl in the sea!! Fa got the honor. Birthday gerl must be sabo-ed! So, at the count of 3, whooosh! Fa was in the water. It was hilarious man. Besides her, our dear Shid, Andy and Lydia got dunked too. haaahaa. We wanted to dunk Asyik too but oh well, he's too BIG. Lol. After the games, we went back to eating again. Nothing else to do what. Haaahaa. And f'course, took pictures. We also celebrated Fa and Lydia's birthday. The cake was superb. Wasn't like the previous cakes that our class used to order. Haaahaa.. And then, it was time to go home. =( I like bbqs! Not because of the food, but because i get to have fun with my friends. Eat together, play together. It brings our class closer together. If only cher had been there! Nyehh. Lol.

Cheers to NR0416!

2006-04-21T23:07:00.000+08:00

I am tired and freaking pissed. I don't know what you want from me. Aren't I good enough? What more do you expect? I am not you. I am me. You can't make me like the things you like, do the things you do. I am a totally different individual, no matter how closely related we are. I am turning 19 and yeah, i'm still treated like a small child. Can't you have more faith in me? Being in a bad mood doesn't give you the right to displace your anger on me! I try so hard to please you that i am so tired of it. Really tired. I've done everything you asked me to. What else you want me to do? Just because i don't listen/agree with you, i've sinned?

I know of the sacrifices that you made. I acknowledge them and I am grateful for it. But all i'm asking is a little more trust. Just a lil' more. I go home late at night not because i went clubbing/f**king around okay! I was involved in meaningful activities to enrich my poly life. Is it wrong to be involved with school stuff? Maybe I should just quit school altogether, not make any damn frens and just stay at home and do your every bidding. Maybe that will make you happy. Yeah you know what, maybe i really should.

2006-04-18T22:57:00.000+08:00

Hi everybody, I am LABBY! Haha. Yeah, that's my new moniker for now and its probably gonna stick with me for a while. Nyett. Can't blame anybody actually coz it sorta started from me. Me and my big mouth (literally). Grrr...

And apparently, I have too much make up on that I probably look like a getai singer. Right cher? But hey, somebody has to do the job right? If not, who to entertain those 'brudders'?? Lol. =D

Aniwae, back to my day at the ward. The kids in my cubicle were great! And thankfully, so were the parents. They were nice and polite. It just makes all the work seem worth it. =) Although there weren't many things to do lar.. Haahaa. I think i will miss them. No, I am missing them already, especially those that have been discharged. Not that I want to them to continue staying in the hospital. I just pray that they'll grow healthily and enjoy their childhood. =D

I read Fa's blog. And then I read Cher's. So, the million-dollar question comes in. Why am I in nursing? I have to admit that this was initially my MUM's choice. She decided what she thought was best for me, and being the filial (or is it?)daughter I am, I just went along with it. Not that I regret being in nursing. Its just that, some days, I do wonder. Where would I be now if I weren't in nursing? Hmmm..
The scary thing now is, I don't see myself as a nurse yet. Yeah, although I am in Year 2/Sem 2, going on to year 3 and graduating soon. I don't know if I have that capability to perform as a 'good' nurse. I guess I'll have to keep my fingers crossed and pray that I'll find that confidence soon. If cannot find how? DIE LOR (i mean, not literally die).

2006-04-14T13:51:00.000+08:00

Its good friday! Yeay, another public holiday. Another day of rest. =) Yesterday was a good simply because Bak Quah was not in the same shift as me. Instead, I had Fa! Woohoo! Yesterday was probably the only day that I'f be working with her. =( Different hospitals. Even if we are working in the same hospital and ward, we'd be in different shifts. Haiz. Come Monday, its back to working with pigs again. Nyett.

Ended late last night and we decided to take bus 67 home. We were walking under the sheltered walkway towards the bus stop when our dearest Shid suddenly screamed "CICAK!". The result: Fa and I screamed. And she ran just like lipas kudung! Haaaaahaa. That was hilarious. Everyone at the bus stop was staring at us.Probably wondering what four girls in nursing uniforms were screaming about. Damnz. It was so embarassing.

The bus ride was terrible. We were like packed sardines! It was full yet people still tried their very best to squeeze in. Gosh, can't they just wait for another one? And I almost died of body odour intoxication. Lucky I didn't collapse. Otherwise poor Jun, Shid and Fa will have to resuscitate me. Lol. That wasn't the end. Guess who we met on the bus? Yep, that Bak Quah! Can't seem to avoid him can I? Grrrrrrrrr.......

Paediatrics Attachment

2006-04-10T20:32:00.001+08:00

First day of my paeds attachment. The perks: Working my clique. The downside: The existence of Bak Quah (oh-i-seem-to-know-everything), farmers and clerks-in-the-cupboard (always seem to be frowning and pouting. What the hell?) Overall, there was nothing much that was done on the first day. I just passed my time away playing with the children. =) The orientation was endless and it was a total bore! Monotonous and the slides were not in the least interesting. I think I was slept halfway coz i can't seem to recall what was being said. heehee. Can't blame me. I was really sleepy and the talk was just simply too much.

Another day of attachment tomorrow. Lets hope it'll be a much better day tomorrow. SHITT. How to? When i am in the same cubicle as my pseudo-boyfriend @ Mr Bak Quah?? =(

MY DREAM

2006-04-08T17:24:00.000+08:00

SHINKANSEN & MOUNT FUJI

TOKYO

SHINKANSEN

SHIBUYA

My dream: To go Japan =) I chatted with Fa today and we both decided to go travelling together. She'll accompany me to my dream place (Japan) and I'll accompany her to hers (Norway) to watch the simply breathtaking Aurora Borealis. If we have extra time or moolah, we'll drop by Europe (London, Paris, Greece, Holland). And we'll stay at those classy hotels. Those with amazing views that you get to see from the rooms. =) Woohoo! I can hardly waitt. Travelling with your good pal without parents.. Woohoo.. Havoc manz!! =D Save up! Save up! Japan, here i come!!!

just another Saturday post

2006-04-08T13:09:00.000+08:00

Debate training yesterday. And yeah, i was supposed to debate. I was in the proposition and the motion was that this house believe in capital punishment. I tell you, I felt so amateurish amongst those people. My mind's just too narrow.. I can never seem to think out of the box. Seriously, why did I join? Aaaarrrgghh!! Heck it. Now that I'm already in, I just got to go through it. There'll be more debates to come anyway. Oh yeah, not forgetting all the ang-moh potatoes that tag along as well. =(

The world skills competition seems so far away now. I've lost like 70% of my confidence. Every training just felt like shitt. Always end up saying, if only i'd done this.. Sayonara Japan for now. But not for too long. Once i've saved up enough moolah, i'll turn the whole nation upside down. Woohoo! Waitt for me hor!

I have many things that I want to achieve in life. So many that I don't even know sometimes if i could fulfil them all. I want to be successful. I want my family to be able to hold our head up high. No longer have to be looked down upon. I hope that the Almighty would bless me and be with throughout this journey.

2006-04-07T13:04:00.000+08:00

Exams are finally over. Phew! Although i screwed up my medical-surgical paper =(.

Now that exams are over, its attachment time. This time round, i'll be off to the bull's cage (translate that to Malay and you'll know where i'm heading to.) I'm kinda looking forward to this attachment because finally, my kakis and I get to be in the same hospital and ward! Although some of us are not in the same shift. Nyehh. All that Bak Quah's fault! bleargh..

Why in heaven's name did i volunteer for the debate? What did I get myself into? I just don't have the confidence to debate. Limited vocab, limited content. How to debate? I'd just end up doing what i did everytime i see my lecturers. Become a blabbering idiot. I must have damaged my Broca's area. Damn. Let's just hope and pray that I end up as the reserve. -wink wink- I'll be the one with the banner cheering my mates on and banging the tables saying 'hear, hear'. =)

Wardah's expecting. Congrats my erm.. aunt? my mum's cuzzie? Its just too difficult to decipher the relationship. My family's just too complicated. Haaaha. You are one fertile woman.. waaaahaaaha.

when it comes to names...

2006-04-01T18:02:00.000+08:00

If I had a daughter, I'd name her Myra. Mind you its mai-rah not mi-rah, and its not mynah either. Short and sweet. =)

Parents should be more considerate/tactful/far-sighted when it comes to choosing their child's name. Make sure it is as short as possible. Otherwise, that poor child would be cursing everytime he/she has to shade his/her name on the OAS. I fully understand because yours truly does that everytime. =)

~moshi moshi~

2006-01-08T14:38:00.000+08:00

What is it my fandom with everything (well, almost) Japanese these days? I can't seem to fathom it myself either. I used to think that Japan was nothing but a land full of kawaii bimbos (no offence to anyone). I used to resent this nation too, for what happened back in 1945. The Japanese Occupation. The darkest days of my ancestors' lives. But now, i'm so into it. So into what natural beauty this nation has to offer, so into the language (just hadn't had time/money to start formal lessons), so into their culture, their music and of course, the food(if only they were halal). So into it that sometimes I wish i was living there.

Maybe I'm just in this "Japanese phase" of my life. I guess it'll fade away with time. Who knows, 6 months down the road, i may be into some other phases in my life. But for now, its *Nihon Ichiban!!

*I hope its correct.Don't expect too much from someone who hasn't had formal lessons.

2006-01-07T15:55:00.000+08:00

2006... A whole new year once again. Time really flies. 2005 has been quite a turbulent year. A lot has happened, leaving both sweet and bitter memories.

My cousin will be doing his National Service in 4 months time. I can't seem to believe it. We've actually grown up. Old enough to carry a rifle.( okay, not me) The childhood days only seem like yesterday. We were so close back then. Doing everything together, going to the same school. But now, everything seems to drift apart. Now, each of us has our own life to lead. Whatever it is, just promise me one thing, That you will NOT turn into one mat CD. :)

Luqman's birthday is coming soon. I feel bad about not being able to celebrate it with him. If only Melbourne was a bus ride away, I'd definitely be there.... Lets just hope he'll have a great birthday party at Carribean Market next weekend.

feeling grateful

2005-06-27T07:08:00.000+08:00

I have to admit that I am grateful to have friends like Fa and Cher around me. They are different from the peers i've had so far. Yeah, they talk crap but in actual fact, there's more to them than talking crap. I know that my entry may seem similar to that of Fa's..but who cares? i just everyone to know what great friends i've got and i'm proud of it.

Cher - First impression? A oh-dun-mess-with-me b*tch. Boy, was i wrong. She's like the leader of the pack... Maybe its because of the age difference. She's more matured... She has a quality that not many others have and that what makes me grateful to have a friend like her. That is... she's not judgemental and accepts you for who you really are. I'm sure those who know her would agree with me. And that is what i'm trying to learn from her. I admit that i'm quick to judge people and i have to change that.

Fa- The first person i talked to when i entered NYP and have been stuck with her ever since. She's by far, one of the few Malay girls that i call a good friend. One reason why i like her? well, cause she's not a minah.... she can-not make it man.. haha... Beyond that crazy, wacky facade of her, there lies an inner Fa with admirable aspirations. She brings me back to reality.. She pulls me closer to my roots, my religion.. reminding me of who i really am. Thanks girl...

I'm not saying that i don't have other friends... I do appreciate also having people like rashidah, jun, fadhilah, has around me. I guess its because i'm a little, minute, puny, teeny-weeny bit closer to them. Aniwaez, i feel grateful to have these people around me, making my poly life so much better and livelier.

new discovery: humans are not just weird, they're rude too

2005-06-23T12:00:00.000+08:00

We, humans are really weird. When we don't have something, we yearn for it but once we have it, we don't want/cherish it.. Be it people around us or things.. its the same..

Take for example, my school hols. When I was on attachment, i yearned for the holidays.. I wanted it soo badly. Counted down the days, hours, minutes and even seconds to my holidays... Now that i'm having it, I'm sick of it. Okay, maybe its because I have nothing to do. The house is forever empty ever since my dad and bro left for melbourne.. My mum will only be back at ard 9.. So, for most of the time, i'm alone. i'm bored and trying to find ways to spend my time wisely.. haiz..

I have one more thing to rant about... Why are people just so god damn rude? Does it kill you to show some courtesy? My mum went to the A&E because of heart palpitations and upon leaving, the staff told my mum that they will call her the next day regarding her appointment with the cardiologist.. We waited for the call the next day but there was none. Ok fine.. perhaps they were too busy. we can tolerate tt. So, the following day, my mum called up the A&E regarding the appt. The rude person i'm talking about is tis woman tt answered the phone. The tone tt she used while talking to my mum was inappropriate and she was reluctant to even listen to what my mum had to say... She just said tt they were busy and SLAMMED the phone.. What the hell? Okay, we understand tt the people there are busy but is it difficult for u ,PCA LEE, to speak to your patients in nice, polite manner? Why did you even have to SLAM the phone? Do you know that you attitude has tarnished the good name of that particular hospital? What if so happened that the person on the phone was a foreigner? They'll be wondering what kind of service we have right here in Singapore.

I suggest that hospitals educate their staff on proper communication skills to prevent such incidents from repeating themselves, incurring the wrath of many others.

Some advice: If you're busy or you're reluctant to answer a call, then DON'T BOTHER. I'd rather have my call unanswered than having to put up with your rudeness/reluctant behavior. At least, it doesn't spoil my day.

Battle of the day

2005-06-16T17:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night, I had a one-on-one battle with............................................................................... a cockroach. Yes, its tt small, disgusting crawling creature... ewww, how i hate them. Aniwaez, back to my story. I was going to my kitchen to get myself a drink.. When i switched on my kitchen lights, i saw something flew by. I thought i was dreamin... ( it was like 2.00 am in the morning...) The next moment, i saw it.. That disgusting @$%#@$#$^%$ (my vocab is limited so i'm resortin to this to espress my hate for tt creature) ting was happily "hinggap-ing" on my kitchen door. I plucked up my courage and ran into the kitchen, grabbing my all-powerful weapon, Mr Baygon.
I approached tt ting slowly and once i've correctly positioned myself, I sprayed as much Baygon as I could on tt stoopid, nyenyott lipas.. I tink tt lipas got dizzy coz it fell the ground... I didn't wanna give up.. I was bent on killing that creature which has trespassed my property... And so, i chased the roach, spraying the Baygon at it as I ran. Unfortunately for me, I slipped and fell.. OUCH!! ( my floor is ceramic tiles k..)The floor was slippery because of the Baygon tt was sprayed.... Inilah namanya senjata makan tuan. I can't believe I am such a klutz.. Is it my innate ability? oh god.. According to fa, its my hidden talent. Whatever it is, i'm now left with a bruised knee... idiott...
Nevertheless, tt nyenyott roach didn't survive either.. I found it dead the next morning under the couch.. Cause of death: Baygon Intoxication i guess... hehe. Goodbye u disgusting trespasser...

I HATE COCKROACHES..... GELINYER... the gimme goosebumps.. ewwwwwwwwww...

2005-06-12T06:05:00.000+08:00

ATTACHMENT OVER!! Yay... my hols are finally here. Been waiting for it.... After spending 7 weeks in the hospital, I miss school... I miss my friends...

Hmm... 7 weeks training in NUH..... the best word to describe my stint there is TIRING... it wears me out man... Overall, it was fun tho... I've had my share of lovely and not-so lovely experiences.. Memories that i'll keep with me.... There's one thing that I must comment tho... Is it soo difficult for Singaporeans to say thank you or at the very least, smile??? I understand the fact that they're worried for their loved ones well being but courtesy is all I'm asking for... Do you know what impact a smile or a thank you has on ppl like us? the healthcare workers... nope i should say professionals.. =P It just makes our day especially after an exceptionally tiring and stressful day.... It serves as a motivation for us..... Haiz...

Working in NUH has also been an emotional roller coaster ride for me... There are always ppl who will constantly irritate and PISS me off.. ( i shan't mention names) even the doc can be annoying... you doc big shot is it? however, there are those that i simply love working with... Kak Siti!! (not me.. its another siti) I lurvve you.. muacks!! hehe.

After these 7 weeks, i still love nursing... i still love doing it and no annoying person can deter me from loving my job.... Special thanks to all the staff of WARD 41 and 53 of NUH for the warm hospitality and guidance... It was greatly appreciated.

"...setapak langkah, pantang surut.."

2005-05-28T16:39:00.000+08:00

I went to watch the dikir comp at ngee ann poly wif my cuz juz now.. we came late so we onli managed to catch the 2nd half of the event. But nevertheless, the 2nd half was still awesome! definitely worth my six bucks.... the performance put up by the schools were great man.. very 'semangat'. I preferred the boys' dikir compared to girls' dikir.. Not because of the lack of eye candy but the boys' dikir were more powerrrrr... more energetic, more oomph... the girls' dikir were a bit slow...so can't really feel their enthusiasm.

ITE Tampines came out champions with SP coming in second (i tink). can't remember wich one actually. so, congrats to them. Its quite sad that panjy sri temasek didn't win coz their performance was good... seimbang. Haiz.. what to do.. menang kalah adat pertandingan... try your luck again next time. I must add tt the team from hai sing catholic was also great. The lower sec students were so cute... macam budak2 primary sch.. so small in size... Inilah harapan2 kita di masa hadapan.

The only downside of this event was the HUMONGOUS amount of mats and minahs tt i met. Not forgetting also the rampant public display of affection.... i shall not continue to write about them. full stop. waste of my time.

piala khatulistiwa rawk on!! i shall watch it again next year... and i promise i'll bring you, fa... jgn sedih lar.... haha

p.s: pardon my poor language... for all my entries actually. i feel as if i've let all my english teachers' down man... rest assured that i don't usually write like this in my essays and official documents....

the demise of my step-grandma

2005-05-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

My step-grandma passed away this morning. Innalilahi wainnalilahirajiun ( i dun really noe how to spell it out but i guess all the felllow muslims out there should noe what this means) tt's why I took the "chinoneh" song off my blog.... as a mark of respect..

Cause of death: cerebral thrombosis. To put it simply, she suffered from a brain stem stroke, which means before she passed away, she was already diagnosed as brain dead. I may not be close to her but i'm still saddened by her demise. I pray that her family, esp my grandad would be strong and move on with their lives... insyaallah.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohmu. Amin.

2005-05-26T15:43:00.000+08:00

i finally learnt how to upload songs on my blog... thks fadd for teaching me... -winks- Fa asks me: Why lagu chinoneh? Well, its because the other songs i have are too emo for my blog... this song is in cantonese so can't tell whether its emo or not... hehe but, its nice... i like it.

Wokay, I managed to last 5 days of boredom w/o my bro and dad. How i got through it? i have no idea. All I know is that I have been slacking throughout these 5 days... watch tv.eat.sleep. tt's all i do... okay, plus cleaning up the house a bit. Aarggh.. tt reminds me. I have 2 more weeks of attachment to complete. I can't wait for it to end. I'm already in the hols mood and i really dread going back now esp after SLACKING for 1 week. hopefully, after attachment, i'll be off to melb for 3 weeks. i'm so excited... i wanna experience winter...

Hmm... but i can't bear to leave my mum alone. Imagine her living alone in a 5 room flat... So depressing rite? Seriously, I really pity my mum. Seeing her slogging her butts out to support the family really makes my heart ache. I want to graduate stat. I wanna start working stat. i wanna make moneh ($$$$) STAT!! then, she won't have to work so hard. i feel ashamed living off her.. its ok moonie... 2 more years and soon, it'll be my turn to repay her, support her.. I know mothers' day is over but hu cares... I LOVE U UMI!!. thank you for being my pillar of strength thru all these years. thank you for all emotional, spiritual and material support u've provided me with all these years. Muacks... Project Playpack: ON or OFF ?

the love of my life

2005-05-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

4hrs and 17 minutes... yes, they've left for melbourne already. Insyaallah, they're gonna reach there at 23 20 (s'pore time). Can't believe that I actually cried at the airport. ( i wasn't wailing, screaming or anything). I was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness. I told myself not to cry but the next moment, tears were already rolling.... Haiz, i'm sooo not the strong. But seriously, i miss them already. My mum is on the night shift today so yes, I'm alone at home right now. I hate this. I'm soo grateful to the people who created 'music'. At least, its not so sunyi now....
I guess i'm going to spend the next few days cleaning the house. I won't feel so bored and lonely then. I don't feel like going out....lazy. Its finally break and i wanna hibernate in the house. Give my legs a rest...At least, i don't have to stand all day... Hopefully, i won't get varicose veins...

When is school starting?? i miss school... i miss seeing all my friends... i miss yong... hehe. Attachment is wearin me out... only 5 weeks and i'm already complaining... did i forget that i was supposed to do this all my life?? I don't hate attachment. Its really fun and I learnt a lot. Its just that i'm TIRED... i just have to get used to it.... what to do? I'm not paris hilton, awaiting to inherit millions...

2005-05-21T12:00:00.000+08:00

Ayah and luqman leaving for melbourne tomorrow.... Haiz, I'm soo sad. -sob sob- They are still here but I'm already starting to miss them. =( I'm going to be so lonely... Its not like I'm not going to see them again.... prob during my hols... but.. the feeling is different. We'll be living in 2 different countries, no, continents actually. (Australia is a continent by itself rite..... I hope i got this rite... i'm really poor at geography) I won't get to see them everyday like i'm used to now. I'm really going to miss that lil' rascal.... Aaargghh!! He can be annoying at times but he's still my baby brother after all... I wish they didn't have to go. I hate goodbyes... =(

I'm also gonna miss my dad's green bean soup... One and only sia... He always cooks it for me, yes, specially for me. When I come back home from attachment, I have dessert to eat. Never got sick of eating it. Okay, i'm going to cry soon. Maintain moonie...maintain. -takes a deep breath- Soon, I'll have no more dessert... Must cook myself. I hate thinking of the fact that i will be going back home to an empty house after tomorrow. Umi will be working from 8 to 8, so she won't be back till bout 9. I'll be soo lonely. I dislike being in an empty house. It soo...cold, lifeless, gloomy and I hate that. I feel insecure.

What to do? Separation is inevitable in a person's life. I'll just have to accept it. I just wish them bon voyage & semoga mereka selamat sampai di melbourne esok. Insyallah.

p.s: To luqman.. if you come back talking to me in a funny accent, i'm going to jotos your kepala!! Jgn lupa bahasa melayu oi.... All the best my dearest. Love you loads, millions....

2005-05-16T07:51:00.000+08:00

Buprenorphine Hydrochloride a.k.a Subutex is a narcotic agonist/antagonist. It is an opiod medication similar to other opiods such as morphine, heroin and codeine. However, it produces less euphoric effects and hence, may be easier to stop taking. It is used as a pain reliever and treat opiate addiction.[e.g. heroin addcition]

Okay...so what's all these info for? Well, i watched the news yesterday and heard about the drug addicts abusing Subutex together with Dormicum. Subutex is supposed to help these addicts kick their addiction but look what happened now... They are abusing it. To make matters worse, Subutex is not a controlled drug in Singapore. Hence, if a person is found to be in possession of it, or having consumed it, he is not seen as running foul of the law. Since consuming subutex is not a crime, it'll encourage these addicts to continue abusing them and there goes the efforts to kick the addiction. According the papers, the Health Ministry said that it would issue the guidelines and prescription of subutex soon. I really hope that they'll do something about it real SOON. I seriously think that subutex should be classified as a controlled drug... Anyone to second that?

Abusing subutex is bad enough but abusing it together with Dormicum[or any other drug] is really foolish. Yes, it makes you high... but do you know that there are such things called DRUG INTERACTIONS?These two drugs have different chemical properties and when combined, they will cause serious damage to your body.

I don't know why these people abuse drugs and i might not know the answer after all. I know I shouldn't be judgemental towards them... I'm not them and I have no right to say that they are "bad" or they are a " disgrace to society". Whether or not they want to reform, its their own choice. It is their life after all and we have no right to control them. All we can do is to offer them support and hopefully one day, one very fine day, they will kick the habit and start a new lease of life.

But for those who have not started abusing drugs, please don't start... Like they always say prevention is better than cure... K, I sound naggy now. I better stop.

2005-05-14T14:52:00.000+08:00

Wokay...first things first... lemme clarify this.. I"m not a chinese!! so stop asking!! I have nothing against being a chinese ( as a matter of fact, I like chinese guys... hahaha) but i'm just tired of replying the same thing over and over again. Maybe I should just change my name tag and put Tan Moo Nie or sumthing. It'll save me a lot of explanation... =P

to that person who keeps calling me sayang... hello!!! who's your sayang? sejak biler sampai yang punya diri pun tak tahu. Even my parents don't sayang me here and there. You make me so...urggh uncomfortable. Being friendly and over friendly are 2 different things. Its such a pity that you are a..... ( you know very well what you did/ is still doing?). You don't look like one. You look intellectual but yet..... I really hope that you are not doing what the nurses think you're doing. Why do it anyway? It'll harm you and ruin whatever bright future you have. i do hope that's in the past. But if you're still doing it, tt's your life man... I can't stop you... Haiz... I pray that you move back to the right path... Insyallah.

Anyway, i feel so jiwang now... must be because of the music that's playing now... Hahaha. Didn't know moonie can get jiwang... Whatever lar... but the song's really nice.

Pelangin anganku musnah by Azie

"......pastinya oh hidupmu akan lebih bermakna,
dan aku usah kau kenang walau kita pernah berkasihan
maafkan diriku ini kerna tidak hadirkan diri di sewaktu hari persandingan mu....... "

"...... Apakah kau ingin lihat?
Airmata ini berguguran,
Puaslah, hatimu ini memainkan perasaan ku selama ini....."

Aww... this song just make me sad... I'm going to continue to day dreaming (or should it be night?) Have a great weekend ahead to myself... i deserved it for slogging the whole week, i really mean SLOGGING.

2005-05-10T11:15:00.000+08:00

Finally, i have my own blog template!! The epitome of klutziness... Credit goes to my dear Fa.. thanks girl.. i really appreciated it. Muacks to you! And yes, i'm updating now. Dun rush me lar... You have 2 weeks break but i'm still on attachment...

Aniwaez, today was my first day at the medical ward. It was quite boring.. nothing much to do. The layout of the ward was different from the previous one so I was quite disorientated for the earlier part of the day. Haiz.... i dislike changes but what can I do? Change is part and parcel of life. So, I must learn to adapt... yesh moonie... Adapt! Adapt! Give me a few more days and i'll be back to optimal mode. Attachment without jil, yu xuan, yao zong and gulshan is DULL!! Man, I miss them. Come back soon guys... No more jokes, laughter. Everything is all so solemn. Can't gossip bout hippie anymore... -sob sob- (k, moonie lost her conscience YET again)

And today is definitely my unlucky day. I was pinched and punched by this uncle... (first thing in the morning) my pt f'cos. Just wanted to transfer him and he started saying all these #@%&*^$%#@!#$$%^!! As weak as he is, his pinch and punch was quite forceful! It hurts like hell.. I was on the verge of crying.. I'm not kiddin you... Sakit... but i managed to calm myself down. I found out later that he was like that. You need to be EXTRA gentle when handling him. If you're slightly rough, he'll start swearing and get violent. That's not the end of my unlucky day. I was stuck in the lift (after my shift). The lift remained at level 4 and it did not move. Were stuck for like 10-15 minutes before that stoopid lift started moving again. Thank god the ventilator and lights were still working. Otherwise, it'd be so stuffy... Ppl there take note: Please repair lift 6!! If i get stuck again tomorrow, i'm gonna kick all your arses. Gotta end here coz i'm on the morning shift tomorrow. Gotta rest... Can't wait for the 3 weeks break... Den can go relax in melbourne!!

2005-05-07T14:51:00.001+08:00

It was my last day at the surgical ward... How time flies. 3 weeks gone just like that. i'm gonna miss the people there... = ( but, i'm sure our paths will cross again one day... Thanks for all the guidance that you guys gave me throughout my whole posting there... really apreciated it. i feel really bad that i'm the only that pass the surgical posting. That cina-faced woman with the aussie accent failed everyone else in the ward. How could she man? We're only in year 1... there's no need to be sooo strict.. Because of her, i've to go alone for my VTP attachment. Damn tt woman... Anyway, ppg's result was finally out. It was not suprising that she failed but her grades really shocked me. How could anyone give the student a grade of 9/100? That's just plain absurd. I admit that I always pick on ppg and make fun of her but now, I really pity her.... I mean, it was not easy for her to enter nursing... with these results, i really wonder what her parents would say. (p.s: They objected to her being a nurse) Poor girl... Try harder and sorry for always being mean to you... (Moonie FINALLY found her conscience.... ) To jilin, yu xuan and the rest, I hope you guys make it. Life's really dull without you people. -sob sob- So, hope to see you guys in 53 soon. I have to go back to school tmr to hand in my clinical diary.. Haiz... Will be meeting fa there... yay.. get to see her again after 3 weeks. can't wait! =)

2005-05-05T13:42:00.001+08:00

the results that i have been waiting for is finally out.... Alas, i can heave a sigh of relief. Alhamdullilah....i did well. managed to score several distinctions. (YAY!) the hard days of mugging hadn't been in vain after all... But, the most important thing is, I have improved as compared to the last semester. go moonie.... go... i hope fa and the rest did well too... esp tt fa.. she really worked her butts off for the exams... Good luck girl! Tt's all in my blog actually... just wanna share my happiness around... :D

2005-04-30T14:13:00.001+08:00

3 days off. 24h + 24h + 24h = 72h (i think this should b rite... can't blame me tho. i'm really BAD in all this countin shitt... hahaaha) Finally, 3 days without seeing that cina-faced woman( i have a feeling she used to be a Mr. dun ask me why) with a thick aussie accent. you know who you are... yesh you.... the one tt's making my life hell!! I mean, I understand your intentions. You want us to be good nurses.... caring, tactful, sensitive and everything.... but do you know, how STRESSFUL it is for us? You're always there...never seem to leave. You're not guiding, you're pestering.... just like (i'm sorry to say this ) a pest. You make feel so stressed that I fumble whenever you're near me. And then you keep saying all these demoralizing things like: her: Are you really interested in nursing? So, you want to be low-grade nurses or nurses that we wanna put off the register? If you can't even do basic stuff, how can we trust you things like IV and medication? (dengan muker muker skali) And all the OBVIOUS hints that you've dropped... implying that i'm going to fail my posting. Its so difficult to apply the exact methods she want and yet at the same time comply with the hospital's routine. I wanna be good nurse... and yes dammit. I am interested in nursing. i admit that my skills are rusty... i am trying. can't you see???? You really make me want to cry... You make me dread attachment. i'm sooo stressed. My mom's asking me to do this e-mailing stuff... regarding my bro's application for the stoopid visa. She can't wait man.. so the tak sabar.. Geramnyer.. Thk god she's outta room. Or my brain's going to burst this very next minute. yeah, then get warded to my ward. neuro-surgical ward wad.... how apt. I finally realised how tough nursing can be... its not as easy as i thought it would be. i was sooo naive. Now i finally understand when they say nursing really needs a lot of PASSION, DETERMINATION & PESERVERENCE. W/o these three, one would definitely quit. i'm still hanging in there. If i pull through (insyaallah) and graduate as a registered nurse, it will be the most meaningful thing ever man, coz it wasn't easy. It was indeed a tumultous (correct spelling?) journey.

2005-04-23T15:11:00.001+08:00

i'm sooo exhausted.. just reached home like an hour ago and my eyes are half opened. I'm hungry but i'm too tired or should I say lazy to go and grab sumthin to eat.. Haiz...moonie2. Finally, one week of attachment gone. 6 more weeks to go.. K, I take back my words. the people in my ward aren't tt bad at all... i guess i just haven't gotten to know them, tt's all. The ITE students were really nice and friendly. ppl like sharmilah, lynn, shikin, peggy, radhika and the rest... thks for making my attachment a better one... really appreciate it. =) But seriously, attachment really drains all your energy... My legs are aching from all tt standing and alas, i can have 2 days break.. S***! now tt reminds me... i have a case study to submit on monday and i've done nothing about it. I didn't manage to look at the case notes.. was too busy with the parameters and stuff... oh man... i'm soo dead.. Aaaaargh!!! it was fa's birthday yesterday... So, happy belated b'dae gal...felt bad that i didn't get her anythin... How to? both of us are busy with attachment... One in NUH and the other in SGH... i guess i'll just make up for it BIG time when sch reopens... Sori Fa... = ( ok... my vision's blurring now... i'm seeing double... tt shows how sleepy i am... -Yawn- gotta sleep now before i look like a panda tmr... -Yawn-